Raising Our Voices: How Tracey Mayer and WINGS Are Changing Lives [video]

Empowered Women Empower Women: Partnering With WINGS to Support Survivors This October

Every October, we wear purple to honor Domestic Violence Awareness Month — but this year at Chicago Boudoir Photography, we’re doing more than just raising awareness. We’re taking action. 💜

On the most recent Live with Liz podcast episode, I sat down with Tracey Mayer, an inspiring entrepreneur, advocate, and board member for WINGS Program, Inc. — one of the leading organizations providing housing, support, and resources for survivors of domestic violence in the Chicago area. Tracey’s story is powerful: as a survivor herself, she’s now dedicated her time, energy, and expertise to helping other women reclaim their lives.

While her personal journey shaped her mission, what’s even more inspiring is how she’s turned that experience into impact. From launching multiple successful businesses to mentoring other women in their careers, Tracey embodies what it means to rise from hardship and use your strength to lift others. Her work with WINGS is just one example of how she’s creating change — offering women not just safety, but the tools, confidence, and support to rebuild their lives.

And this month, we’re joining that mission!


How Chicago Boudoir Is Taking Action This Month 💜

Domestic violence impacts 1 in 4 women in the U.S. — and it’s not always visible. It thrives in silence and isolation. That’s why I believe it’s so important that our studio does more than just talk about empowerment — we live it.

Here’s how we’re showing up this October:

  • 💜 Proceeds Donated: A portion of every sale this month will be donated directly to WINGS Program, Inc. to support survivors and their families.

  • 🛍️ Volunteering Locally: I’ve been spending time volunteering at the WINGS Resale Shops — because supporting survivors means showing up in person, too.

  • 🥋 Self-Defense Workshop: We’re hosting an in-person self-defense class on October, 18, 2025, to give women tools to feel stronger and safer in their everyday lives. For more information and to grab your ticket, check it out here

  • 💬 Safe Conversations: In our VIP Facebook Group for Empowered Women of Chicago, we’re facilitating conversations, sharing resources, and creating a space where women can talk openly about their experiences, educate and support one another.

This is what empowerment looks like beyond the lens. It’s using our platform, our voice, and our community to stand with women — whether they’re celebrating their bodies in the studio or rebuilding their lives after trauma.

So, as you scroll through the beautiful images and stories this month, know that every shoot, every session, and every conversation is part of something bigger. Together, we’re helping women find safety, confidence, and strength again. 💜


💜 Learn More & Get Involved with WINGS

If hearing Tracey’s story and our mission this month has inspired you, there’s so much more you can do to help. Together, we can make our community a safer, more supportive place for women and families affected by domestic violence.

WINGS Mission:
To provide housing, integrated services, education, and advocacy to end domestic violence.

WINGS Vision:
To help create a society where every survivor has a voice — and the resources — to break the cycle of abuse and reclaim their future.

WINGS Philosophy:
WINGS believes every person has the strength and potential to overcome difficult circumstances and achieve a better quality of life. They are dedicated to treating every adult and child with compassion and respect, honoring the unique needs of each individual and family they serve. Through safe, high-quality facilities, comprehensive client support, and an integrated continuum of housing and services — all grounded in Trauma-Informed Care and safety planning — WINGS helps survivors rebuild from the ground up.

Diversity & Inclusion: A Foundation for Change
WINGS knows that diversity and inclusion are vital to ending domestic violence. By fostering an inclusive culture that values and amplifies the voices of clients, staff, board members, donors, volunteers, and partners, they ensure that every survivor’s journey is supported and seen.

💜 Learn more about WINGS and how you can help at wingsprogram.com. Whether you donate, volunteer, or simply share their mission, your involvement truly makes a difference.

At Chicago Boudoir Photography, we believe empowerment doesn’t stop at the studio doors — it extends into how we show up for one another in our communities. That’s why we’re proud to stand alongside Tracey and the WINGS team in their mission to create a future where every woman has safety, support, and the freedom to thrive. Together, we’re not just raising awareness — we’re building a movement of strength, resilience, and hope. 💜

Learn more about WINGS

Interview Auto-Generated Transcript:

Good morning everybody. Liz here from Chicago Boudoir. Pop in. Tell me if you

can see me and hear me in the comments. Say hi. I'm so glad to be with you this morning. And today I am here with Tracy

Meyer and I am so excited to have her here and to chat. Um let me tell you a

little bit about her. Tracy is a seasons seasoned entrepreneur with over 30 years

of experience and an award-winning designer who built her luxury jewelry brand into an internationally recognized

business. Her multiaceted career includes serving as an adjunct faculty

member, a tenure a 10-year tenure on Mayor Dy's fashion council in Chicago,

and representation by one of Chicago's top modeling agencies. Tracy has also

dedicated significant time to philanthropy. She served on the Chicagoland and Northwest Indiana Ronald

McDonald House Women's Auxiliary Board and volunteered for Makea-Wish for over 15 years. Tracy's committed to

empowering women and girls and passionate about mentoring and storytelling. She currently works as a

development consultant in the nonprofit sector with Wings Chicago. Welcome Tracy

and thank you for being here. Good morning, Liz. I'm super excited to be here with you.

So, as you know, in this series with Live with Liz, I bring on women who ma are making a difference in the Chicago

area. And I'm so glad to chat with Tracy today, especially because of her connection to Wings Chicago because

October is domestic violence awareness month and we are honoring that here at

Chicago Budoir. So, Tracy, welcome. Thank you for being here. I want to talk

to you about this. Sometimes life feels like it can be a series of chapters and

you've lived through many chapters. How do you define the chapter that you are in now? What are you up to right now?

It's a great question. Well, as you just mentioned, um uh I'm doing uh a lot of

work with wings on a professional level. Um I think just more in general at the

stage that I'm at right now in my life. Um more than ever I'm living a life uh

filled with purpose. I always have. Um but right now I think you know as we get

older for most people you really narrow down and and start defining the things that make me happy. You know, now I'm do

everything in my life that I'm doing now, whether it's work, the people I'm around, the things that I do in my free time are the things that bring me the

most joy. That's kind of my focus. So maybe some of our listeners don't

know about Wings and what Wing's mission is. Could you explain a little bit about that?

Sure. So Wings is the largest domestic violence intervention agency in the

state of Illinois and they happen to be celebrating their 40th anniversary this

year. So they've been around for a long time. They are leaders in their space and have proven impact that literally

saves the lives of hundreds of people every day. Um through different types of

housing and shelter programs and then uh all different types of integrated services from counseling to mentoring um

it's a it's a very sophisticated operation and like I said they've got the the impact to show um why they're

leaders and innovators in their space. They also have three resale stores that a lot of people have seen. So sometimes

people think, "Oh, wings, you know, you have the resale stores." We're like, "Yes, and a whole lot more." So, and

it's exciting because they're now spreading their footprint uh nationally, have already started doing some work um

in Florida. Uh and the goal is to continue that expansion uh around the country.

Wow. Well, thank you for your dedication to this. Domestic violence is something that affects all of us. Even if you have

not been directly affected by it, it affects our communities and people you know. So, thank you for your advocacy.

Um, I know you started your career as an entrepreneur. Tell us a little bit about that and how you got started.

I think my brain is just wired that way. Uh, honestly, any entrepreneur

will kind of say we have, you know, certain things in common regardless of what we're doing. Um and so from a very

young age I was super creative, loved fashion and um just had such a curious

mind and so um I mean I ended up my first business was a low-fat bakery business which certainly you know is not

in fashion at all but it was very innovative. You said you started a low-fat bakery.

Yes. Fat bakery back in the 80s. We were way ahead of our time. You know what we were

doing was was kind of pioneer. So um and then because of my love of fashion you

know I had an opportunity to to see uh you know fashion or jewelry be made by

hand in India uh and I was mesmerized and that kind of planted the seed which ultimately then became um my next

business in the business I had for the longest period of time uh which was my own uh designer jewelry brand. So I did

that for over 35 years. um uh as a wholesaler in New

York um uh and went through multiple iterations as the economy and life

changes and so forth. Um but uh I am an entrepreneur you know through and

through even the work that I've done for other with other organizations and even the way I approach my work now is very

much from that mindset of thinking outside the box you know building relationships the ability to connect

with people um and see the bigger picture um like really stay focused on the bigger picture so and lots of

creativity always yeah exactly I love that in some ways

there's a thread that goes through all of you've had all of these different experiences. I didn't know you had a

bakery, but jewelry and advocacy, but one of the threads that I see through all of this is helping women, right?

Like jewelry is sort of a female focused business. I mean, it's not entirely female focused, but it it kind of is,

right? Most of your customers were probably women, right? And now with domestic violence, of course, domestic violence can affect men, but it

primarily affects women, right? So, how have you um found like in your own life

to find kind of empowerment and confidence and then also share that with your customers and clients and people

that you're advocating for? Life's not easy. You've had some up and downs. How have you found confidence, empowerment

through through it all? Well, I think we have to remember that we're not born with confidence. Like,

you don't see a little two-year-old running around going, "Oh, man, I'm so confident." You know, confidence is

born, literally born from falling down and learning how to get

back up. And every time you do it, you've got another tool to put in your tool belt. And so that's where our

confidence is is born from. So for me, yes, my life has been filled with many

chapters, you know, the good and the bad. I've learned the most not sitting on the mountain, but sitting in the

valley. And I think, you know, as a society, we want to rush

through trauma and grief because it kind of makes sense. It doesn't feel good. But I think if you if you take the time

to sit in the fire and ashes when you go through something horrible, you come out

with more wisdom. You come out with more clarity and hopefully with a heart that's primed for joy. And so for me um

and the reason that I ended up at wings because some people a lot of times

people say well wait a second you know you come from this world of you know luxury fashion and all these other things um teaching and and so forth how

did you end up you know in this space and it's because I went through my own personal experience with domestic violence um and it was uh

life-changing. I mean, it took me to my knees. And so, I

ultimately decided that I needed to use my voice and my story to help other to

help other people. I've always been a risk taker my entire life, you know. Um,

and uh I just knew that I needed to do that and

that's what led me that's what led me to Wings. So, my confidence

1,000% has been born from from all the brick walls that I've run into in my

life. I think we underestimate the strength and the power that we have

within us, all of us, and the power of our mind. Like, our brains and our minds

are so magical and wonderful. And there's a lot of other people in the world who are going to try and play with

it and kind of tap dance with it and tell us how we have to be. Right now there's more noise in the world than ever before, right? Telling us this is

how you've got to be. And it's not I think what I found particularly I'm 66

and a lot of women who are uh around my age who I see have lost their

self-confidence is it's less about them being okay with who they are and how

they look and it's more about all the noise out in the world saying but you could be better but you could be better.

We're always hearing that, right? We're always hearing but there could be a better version of yourself. Now I will say and from a self-development point of

view absolutely you know that's something that I do and I think everyone should do is always consciously want to

learn and grow right and continue to develop no matter how old you are but that's very different than somebody

saying you're not good enough and so you know I have had to and and still do you

know have to work hard to say and believe you know I good enough

just as I am. And to to I've always practiced a kind of a a stoic mindset,

which is really focusing on today. You know, yesterday's gone and tomorrow's not here. So, living like really truly

living in the moment and focusing on the things that I can control and and trying to let go of everything else. Um, and

then having and maintaining a mind a a a grateful mindset, right? Those three

things. Now, it's not easy. It's a pretty simple practice in terms of understanding it, but it's it's not that

easy to do. It takes a lot of work because we make decisions and then we say, "Oh my god, you know, when things

aren't going great, you know, why did I do that?" But here's the thing. When we have to make a decision, we're doing

what we think is right in that moment, right? Um and sometimes later things don't work

out that great. So instead of sitting in that puddle of regret which is just going to have you spinning and also

create kind of a negative mindset, right? It's like what I do is even when

things aren't great, it's like but there's always opportunities there. There's always something. Okay, this

this might not have turned out the way I wanted it to. And in the case of the work that I'm doing right now, when I

was going through, you know, my experience with domestic violence, it was horrific. Um, and even even once I

got out, the healing part of it was, you know, was horrific. And I didn't even

know what to expect with that. I thought once I was gone that it would be over and it wasn't. Um, but it was in that

moment that I looked for an opportunity, right? instead of crying poor me and you

know falling apart I thought okay so there is an opportunity here for me to find something good here and meaningful

so I think you know it's kind of that's my long way of saying just our minds are

so incredibly powerful and the only one who has control over

your mind is you and that's the beautiful thing everybody else will try and grab it but at the end of the day

you know we are the only ones so my confidence you know my resilience um

really comes from uh maintaining that mindset of you know

gratefulness no matter how you know focusing on my blessings no matter how bad something is I also have daily

mantras every morning I have daily mantras that I say out loud because and this is the science like our

brain can't decipher between good and bad our brain only knows what it's familiar with right so if I'm sitting

and ruminating about bad stuff all day long, my brain's going, "Oh, that's familiar. I'm just going to keep thinking it. I'm just going to keep

thinking it." But if I'm putting those good mantras in every morning over and

over and over again, my brain's going, "Oh, I'm familiar with this. This is kind of cool. So, guess what? You know,

I'm going to kind of go out and find those things today." And it really does work. And it doesn't cost any money. It

just takes time and it takes discipline. Um, but I'm a firm believer in in right

here, you know, is is will dictate, you know, so much of how our life goes. And

that's one thing that we're in control of. There's so much in the world that we're not in control of, especially now,

but that is one thing that we can control. And so, that's that's really my approach to how I live my life. I love

that so much. I've heard you talk about how domestic violence affects people that we might not even necessarily

assume that it affects different, you know, there's domestic violence happening in your neighborhood. It's not

something that's happening far away in some other place, right? Can you talk a little bit about how your eyes were open

to to how domestic violence affects a wide range of women?

Sure. And that's a really good point and I'm glad you brought that up because there is kind of a belief by many people

that domestic violence only happens to poor uneducated women or men and it's

simply not true. Uh there are no boundaries. It can and does happen anywhere. Statistically it's one in

three women and one in four men who will be affected in their lifetime. That's so I mean think about, you know, next time

you're standing in the grocery line or you're, you know, out to dinner, you're at the gym, you're in the office,

anywhere you are, you're on the train, start start counting heads around you, that is the reality. Uh and so we say

when we say to people, whether you realize it or not, someone very close to you has is or will be affected. It's

true. And so there are no boundaries. And most people never expect me, you

know, to be that person that it happened to um because in their minds and that and part of that is because we just have

to do a better job, you know, educating and getting rid of the misinformation that's out there. There's a lot of

misinformation and as a society, we've decided that domestic violence is kind of a dirty word, right? So, it's not

we're nobody really wants to talk about it. But 20 years ago, people didn't want to talk about cancer either. And now

it's very easy. 5 years ago, it was still difficult to talk about mental health. And now it's become an everyday

conversation. Right? So, we need to get to that point where we get the eyeballs off the ceiling when we're talking about

domestic violence because it is real and it affects it's pervasive. It affects so

many people. and um be able to celebrate the people who

survived that just as they if I said to somebody I survived breast cancer for

example you know I would be celebrated I want to see that same celebration for people who've survived abuse you know

any type of abuse so um my role with wings right now I am specifically uh

like leading the development of a new program that will launch uh on Chicago's no are being the leaders in their space.

Wings is now spreading their wings once again and moving into new communities.

Um and so we've done you know a lot of work uh and research up there to uh

build a curated program uh to provide the much needed services for women or

men who are suffering from domestic violence um and go into uh those

communities and then take that same program you know and and spread it elsewhere. So, we're, you know, really,

you know, I say excited, you know, and it's kind of that like, you know, excited. Yes. Excited to be able to

provide these services because we know how much it's needed. Um, but then the other part of me is like, but it's not

really exciting because I wish it didn't exist, right? But the reality is that it

is, you know, it is everywhere. There are no boundaries. And and it's really

important for people to also understand that when you're talking about domestic violence,

it's it's uh there are many forms of of abuse, right? So most people think it's

it's physical abuse, which you know is very true, but not always. But there's psychological abuse, there's financial

abuse, which statistically 99% of the time, 99% of the time, there's financial

abuse when you're dealing with something. Uh so even when you're dealing with people in affluent communities where one might think, oh

well if things are so bad why don't you just leave because you have money. The truth is the access to that money is

usually not there. So it's much more complicated than it might seem. And then there's sexual assault of course you

know sexual vent and um and stalking. So there's many different types. So it's it's complicated and every sector of

people that we deal with have different needs right based on their life, their

lifestyle and so forth. So what might seem as you know an easy way out is

anything but. Um, and then people, you know, families have dogs, you know, or

pets, you know, that they can't take with them when they need to go, you know, all these kinds of things that we

don't think about, but are reasons why people find it that much harder to

leave. So, um, yeah, the idea, why doesn't she just leave?

You don't understand what's behind that, what it would take to leave that. Like, does it mean abandoning a pet, a child?

Does it mean not having any access to funds at How do you leave if you have no access to funds?

And it's overwhelming because if you're dealing with when when you're dealing

with the abuse, no matter what form of it, you're you kind of lose a sense of

who you are, you know, when it gets so bad and then the thought of trying to

make a plan to change your life is so overwhelming for so many people. It's so incredibly difficult. Um and you know

and it's dangerous and there's there's so many things layered in there again that um it's it's very very complex, you

know, it's very very complex and it's and it's very difficult because you're trying just to survive. You're kind of

just trying to get through the day. You're trying to protect your children if you have children. You're trying to keep that smile on your face, you know,

so that nobody really knows what's going on. Um and then if you say, "Okay, now I

got to figure out a plan." You know, sometimes women give up their careers when they get married to focus on

raising their children. It's very common. Uh then all of a sudden that woman's faced with u having to go back

to work, you know, which is another component. Yes. So, um and then there's so much shame, you know, the the shame

and the stigma that's associated with it is can be paralyzing. And I know that

feeling well because I was mortified, you know, when I came back to Chicago when this happened to me. I was living

somewhere else. Um I thought, "Oh my god, like how am I going to I'm going to

how am I going to tell my family and how could this happen to me? I'm a you know, smart woman, you know, uh so on and so

forth." So there's so much and that's something else that we need to eradicate. We need to keep chipping away at that shame and stigma because it is

never the fault of the of the victim. Never ever ever no matter what. Abuse is

always a choice. Um, did you eventually find a way to tell your family and friends or do you feel

like Yes. Okay. Yeah, I had to, you know, because, you know, and I remember the day I did it,

you know, I mean, and it it was well, and then also, you know, being sensitive to the impact that's going to

have then on my family, you know, telling them and and them then knowing

or learning about what I was going through. you know, it's it's very very very difficult, you know, for for family

members and for friends to learn this too. Um, but the there's again kind of

circling back to like the affluent communities, the shame and the stigma is so enormous. You know, sometimes that

alone is the reason um why people aren't able to find you and maybe their family wants to side

with the abuser in some cases if they have a relationship with him as or her as well, right? What happens I think uh

sometimes is you know sometimes some abusers will have like another person

almost living in that body where they're deemed as pillars in the community. Mhm. Um and so then if a woman does uh and

again this could be a man because it goes both ways. Um does find the courage to speak about it to someone, you know,

someone close, uh it's not unusual for that response to be, oh, he would never

do that. He's a great guy. And so sometimes then that person

that you would think would be there for you no matter what takes a step back and

then you feel even more alone. So um it's and even you know again looking you

know from the outside in you know this kind of notion too of like oh those poor

you know those poor Northshore women or whatever you want to say you know like if things were so bad and so and when

you're dealing with communities you know smaller communities it's very common that people know each other right most

likely in a marriage or relationship um the the two people are going to have the

same circle of friends by and large or know the same people. So if a person was struggling and started to reach out even

to other people in the community for help, there's a good chance that the people that they would want to reach out

to in different disciplines, you know, may already know the abuser.

So Right. right challenging. It's complicated. And then you have the

kind of the threats that can get layered in there. you know, if you leave me, I'll destroy you. You'll never see your

kids again. You know, all those kinds of conversations. That's real. And that happens to everyone everywhere. And so

there's, you know, what might seem as, you know, a, you know, an easy thing whether a woman or a man is choosing to

go into a domestic violence to call the domestic violence hotline and go into a shelter program, which are phenomenal,

right? And very successful whether they take that route or they're going to stay with a friend or whatever it might be.

Um it's there are so many factors that

that are um in front of that person that they have to consider. Um and it's so

it's the the message that we like to put out there is you know it is complicated

aside from taking requiring courage you know it is extremely complicated.

logistically we need to give people more grace, you know. Um we really do and and if someone

ever does say to any of you listening, if anyone ever does open up to you um

and expresses something that they're going through like this, the best thing that you can say to them is, "I believe

you." Believe you. Yeah. I believe you. Let's say someone listening wants to

support wings and their mission. What are some ways that people can do that? I know here at Chicago Budoir, for

example, if you book a photo shoot during the month month of October, which is right now, we will be donating

proceeds from that photo shoot to Wings. So, if you've if a Budwoir photo shoot's been on your bucket list, this would be

a great time to get a photo shoot and then also support Wings. But Tracy, what are some other ways that we can support

this organization and their mission? Well, there are lots of ways. You said some people like to volunteer because of

the nature of the business. It's uh it there are, you know, not as many

opportunities for hands-on, although there are people that can go through training if they really have the desire

to get involved, you know, in one of the Wings facilities that we do have people that do that. Uh Wings has fundraisers

throughout the year that they do. In fact, their biggest one is taking place tomorrow night. Um so there's there are

always volunteer opportunities. um on the event stage. Um and then um

if anybody is affiliated with their own, you know, nonprofit or works on a

corporate level um and that and that that company is involved in giving back to the community, um people will then go

to their u leadership team and say, "Hey, you know, I'd love for you to

consider this organization." And again, it could be it could be a group of people that are able to do a hands-on

kind of thing. It could be I've got a couple people you which you're doing this month and then you know like

digital fundraising drives that we do. Um and then to other nonprofits out

there, you know, I'm always looking for opportunities to partner with other nonprofits, you know, where there's no

conflict of interest and let's join forces, you know, and raise money together. um because there's lots of

opportunity you know in that space too. So I would say if anybody's interested in getting involved uh they can go to

wingsprogram.com and there is uh they'll find on there um

the opportunity to volunteer um and you know I don't know if there's a way to

you know anybody could reach out to me too you know through Facebook or whatever if they're interested we can

always find a way to get you involved. We have uh councils. We also have

councils. We of course have boards. So there's people that get involved with the board or various councils. Um there

Yeah, there are plenty of ways. And just one really simple way, if you go and shop at the resale store, the money you

spend will support Wings's mission. So 100%. Yeah. So, I volunteer I've just started

volunteering at one of the shops sorting sorting and tagging items and there's so

much great stuff that comes through there. So, um you know, shopping in a resale shop keeps stuff out of

landfills. You can find a lot of great deals and then of course also the money that you spend at the resale shop will

support Wing's mission. So, yeah, goes directly to supporting these programs. And I'm glad you said that too

because that's another volunteer opportunity is to work in one of the re uh the re uh resale stores either you

know behind the scenes sorting or you can be out on the floor um you know interacting with people and it's it's it's extremely rewarding experience.

Yeah. I've really I've done it a few times now. Really cool. Yeah. Yeah. So Tracy, turning um to a different part

of your life for a minute here. You recently had the opportunity to audition

to be part of the Golden Bachelor TV show and ultimately you decided not to

be on the show. You you're not on the show. It's aired right now, but you went through a lot of the process at the

beginning. Tell us how you got started with that, how you got interested in this franchise. Um I watched The Golden

Bachelor. I love it. And I was so excited to hear that you had auditioned for it. Tell us a little bit about that.

Well, I too had watched the first two seasons and found it extremely endearing and a little different than typical

reality TV, even within the the Bachelor franchise because you were dealing with

people who were, you know, in our golden years. Um, who came together and just

had this camaraderie, this it was just this really beautiful union because everybody had suffered different types

of loss in their life, which is very real, particularly as you get to be in your 60s and above. Um and and really

that you know there was that sense of celebration of life and so I think so

many people watching it were like shaking their head. Yeah. And tearing up like including myself like I really get

this. I really I really get I would say like oh me too me too me too kind of

thing. So I got really drawn in and then you know I had a few friends who were just kind of nudging me you know saying

oh you should apply you should apply whatever. So I so I filled out an application one night. I honestly forgot

all about it and then handful of months later, you know, I got a call and uh

which was the beginning of, you know, going through the vetting process. Um it was a over five month uh long journey.

Yeah. It was really a lot really which is good, you know, that they really put you through. Yeah. But like a lot of hours spending

time talking to people or what? Well, I mean it and yeah, and luckily since they were in California, you know, I could do

everything, you know, after hours here because they're two hours behind us. But yeah, lots of interviews, you know,

background checks. I mean, there's lots of stuff they have, but they have to do that, right? Um it's important and good

for everybody. So, I'm I'm glad that they do, you know, a very extensive vetting process. It's super important.

Um there were 60,000 women who applied. 60,000? Yeah. which you and the cool thing about

that is it really tells you how many people who are in their you know and not

everybody truly was in their golden years you know I'm sure there were some younger than what we typically would say

golden years but nonetheless 60,000 they have a strict age requirement for the show I think I mean I think they say

um I mean technically to apply to be I think on any of their shows you just have to be over 18 or whatever that that

kind of But but for the golden, I mean, it kind of is is 60 and up is is kind of

the unders trying to do, right? Kind of the understood thing. Um, but it just shows you how many single

women there are out there in the world, you know, in this age group was, you know, pretty incredible. Um, so anyway,

I it we I went through the whole thing and I was, you know, then made it in the shop 40 and, you know, getting

getting close to, you know, the time of when um the filming would start. And

then it just what happened is the the person who was chosen as a bachelor, Mel, because the show's on now, so

everybody knows who he is, did a podcast and voiced that he uh prefers dating

younger women. Um, and so he made that comment. He even said the He even said 45. He even said the word 45, which is I

mean I'm 45. Like come on. Yeah. He said 45 to 60 and then told the

executive producer, you know, I'm just letting you know anybody over 60 I'm going to I'm cut. Um and so this came

out and not in the spirit of the show. Let's be honest. That's not what the show's about. Well, it, you know, for me it's

like I I have no judgment if you know he can date whoever he wants, however he

wants, you know, that's his choice. That's that's none of my business. But hearing that, um, and I will be honest

with you, my initial thought was, "Oh, I'll show him how cool we are in our

60s, you know, like we'll show him how great we are and how worthy we are in our 60s and how fabulous we're living

our lives." And then the other voice in my head said, "Oh, no, you won't,

girlfriend. You know, you're not going to prove your worthiness to anyone." Um,

which circles back to the experiences that I've been through,

right? You know, the old me, you know, years ago, you know, would have probably said, "Oh, well, I'll go prove myself.

I'll go prove my worthiness." And so, and worthiness actually comes from within. Other people don't determine our

worthiness. We do, right? We do. So, I knew in that moment it was so incredibly

disappointing because I was so excited about the opportunity, but I knew there was no way that it that

I could stand in front of a man who would speak that way about women. And again, I'm not judging him or his

decisions because that's that's his business, not I just knew it wasn't any longer the right fit for me. Um because

if I'm really going to be true to myself, uh I want to stand next to a man, you know, who who recognizes my

worthiness, who doesn't question it, right? And so, um yeah, so it'll be

interesting to see how this season plays out. Have you been Have you been watching? Yeah, I'm watching because, you know,

because I'm curious, you know, to see um and um I mean, it it is reality TV. We

know that. And so, um, a little more drama this time around, it appears. Um,

but, you know, in the end, I mean, I hope I hope maybe he actually really does, you know, uh, rethink things and

think, wow, these women are actually incredible, you know, women who are closer to his age. That would be a

beautiful thing. And if it doesn't, then, you know, then that then that's okay, too. But, um,

it's interesting. I mean, the thing I So, I watch the Golden Bachelor. I watched the last two seasons. I I love

it. And also you have to keep remembering like they are producing a TV show. I know they are producing entertainment. The

goal of the show was not actually for them to help women find love, right? Like they don't really care, right? If

these women find love, right? Um and that's what I think is you kind of served this idea of like, oh, these

women deserve to find love, but like actually what's being produced is just a TV show. It's just entertainment, right?

And sometimes that gives me a little pause. Like I feel like in some ways the women are being used a little bit like

their feelings are being like exploited for the audience. I don't know if you have kind of mixed feelings about a show

like that. Um I mean I think I think again it's you

you know yes undoubtedly a lot of these types of shows are scripted to a large

extent. Um it's and but everybody I

think everybody knows what they're stepping into, right? It's you know every woman who chose to do this season

um had the choice to say yes or no, right? It's so I think when somebody I

think when somebody tries to then cry, oh, you know, poor me kind of thing, it

it's almost like but you kind of know, you know, what to expect. You know what

I'm saying? Like, and so and and it's true, you know, that people do these types of shows for different reasons.

Some people may sign up and and go on, you know, with really pure intention of

thinking, you know, this is this is I just want to find a great guy or I want to find a great woman or whatever. You know, other people might have other

agendas. You know, it happens, right? And so, again, it's like not my place,

you know, to judge anybody else. I'm not going to judge ABC. They can do whatever they want. All I can do at the end of

the day is make decisions that work, you know, for me. And every other woman, you

know, hopefully is doing the same thing. And if they make a decision that turns out not to be the greatest, then again,

you know, if if that was me or even in this case, you know, as disappointed as I was when all when I heard what he

said, um I immediately thought, all right, where's what's the opportunity here for

me? how how can I use my experience in a way to kind of inspire and empower other

women to, you know, stay true to who they are, right? And don't ever feel

like you have to prove your worthiness to anyone no matter what. So, there's

always something good that comes out of things, you know,

if we choose to see it that way. So, would you audition for another season with another Golden Bachelor?

I don't know. I honestly don't know. Um um I don't

know because even even when I made the decision, it wasn't like uh oh my god, I

would never do the show. It was like this show this season isn't the right fit for me.

But you're glad you're glad you auditioned. I'm super glad I did. Listen, I never in a mill I forgot all about it. Like I

said, when I and I never in a million years and every time I made it to the next stage, I would sit and go, "Oh my

god, really?" like I can't believe this is happening, you know? I mean, it's it's just it's kind of overwhelming when

you think how many people, you know, they were sorting through. So, in from

that standpoint, I would say to any other woman, when you go through any kind of process, you know, and you and

you make it, you know, close to the end, whether you choose to not go forward or whether they choose

not to go forward with you or whatever, don't ever forget how far you've gotten.

you know, just always be proud of yourself, you know, and that's I guess my takeaway is that, you know,

they found something special in each one of us for whatever reason, you know, to keep us in it that that long. And that's

um and that feels good, I think. You know, I mean, you would have been great on the show. I would have loved to have seen

you on the show. It'll be interesting to see how, you know, I know people are like kind of,

you know, trying to predict. There is no way to predict, you know, what's going to happen. I mean, it's impossible to know. Um, and it's, you know, emotions

come into play and stuff like that. But it will be very interesting to see how it turns out. Indeed.

Yeah. And I do think the visibility like the Golden Bachelor saying, "Hey, we could put six-year-old women on TV." I

think that's good. And I think that's sort of new and I like it. Even if I don't agree with everything the way they're doing it and everything,

you know, I do think, you know, let's do let's have more of this in different ways. I agree with that because it

really is kind of reminding us of how exuberant our lives can be. Again, they call it the golden years for a reason,

right? But yet, like I said before, I find so many women once they get into

their golden years, you know, tend to start losing self-confidence, you know.

Um, and I'm guilty of it too in certain aspects. You know, we look in the mirror and I'm like, "Oh, is my skin sagging

too much?" You know, there's certain things as good as we take care of ourselves and all the things that we do,

you know, it's it's aging. It's part of aging. And that circles back to

society telling us all day long over and over and over again, you're not good enough. You're not quite good enough.

You could be better. You could be better. Could be better. And that's tough. And that's why I'm so passionate about um mentoring, you know, girls,

like teenage girls. And I have two sons. I don't have daughters, but it's like getting to these girls when they're

young and building, you know, building that self-confidence and teaching them about self-compassion. I think that's

one of the, you know, things that we forget about is giving ourselves, you know, some grace and and and

self-compassion and and to really believe you you are enough and to seek

out those special gifts that you have. You know, everybody I believe everybody

you when I talk to a lot of these younger girls, it's like everybody is a shining star.

Yeah. Some of them just don't know it yet. So, our job is to find those things that make them super special, which is how

they landed on this earth. You know, how you land on this earth that makes you special, what makes your heart sing, what makes your heart pound fast. Those

are your gifts and that's, you know, your focus and how you build. and for stop listening to what the rest of the

world is telling you. How you have to be, how you have to look, what school you have to go to, all these things that are just creating so much stress and so

much pressure for young young people. Um, that's really a passion of mine is

to try and eliminate as and it's hard, you know, it's really hard. It's it's a

really difficult time, you know, for young people to be living uh for everybody, you know, with all that's

going on in the world, but in particular um that um that again that

self-confidence is not, you know, we don't have confidence, you know, just out of the gate. Um it's born. And so to

for for people, younger people to realize, you know, you need to fall down um in order to you know, learn how to

get back up. And the cool thing is every time you put another tool in your tool belt and you get through something, you

get to that point in your life where you go, "Bring it on, baby, because I can handle it." Like, you know, that's how I

feel like no matter what's going to hit me now, go ahead. You know,

um and that and that's and that's a beautiful thing. And so being in our 60s

is wonderful where we have all this wisdom and all these life experiences to

share with people and to and and to further define where we want to sit in

in what's going to give us the most joy and pleasure. And those are gifts to that we I think have an obligation to

share with younger people. Um because there's only only certain things in life that you can

learn by doing. When somebody 24 years old tells me I'm an expert at something,

I look at them and say you can't be because you haven't been alive long enough to be an expert. You may be very

very good at what you do. You may be very smart and well educated, but there's nothing that replaces life

experiences. Nothing. Well, Tracy, thank you so much for sharing your wisdom and those thoughts

today. We are so excited about everything you're doing and are excited to follow what's next for you. And we're

excited to donate to Wings this month. And thank you so much for sharing your time with us today. If you have any

questions or comments you'd like to leave with for Tracy, feel free to leave them below. And we will see you guys on

our next episode of Live with Liz. Thank you so much for joining us today, Tracy. Thank you. And thank everyone. Thanks so

much.

Liz HansenComment