Raising Our Voices: How Tracey Mayer and WINGS Are Changing Lives [video]
Empowered Women Empower Women: Partnering With WINGS to Support Survivors This October
Every October, we wear purple to honor Domestic Violence Awareness Month — but this year at Chicago Boudoir Photography, we’re doing more than just raising awareness. We’re taking action. 💜
On the most recent Live with Liz podcast episode, I sat down with Tracey Mayer, an inspiring entrepreneur, advocate, and board member for WINGS Program, Inc. — one of the leading organizations providing housing, support, and resources for survivors of domestic violence in the Chicago area. Tracey’s story is powerful: as a survivor herself, she’s now dedicated her time, energy, and expertise to helping other women reclaim their lives.
While her personal journey shaped her mission, what’s even more inspiring is how she’s turned that experience into impact. From launching multiple successful businesses to mentoring other women in their careers, Tracey embodies what it means to rise from hardship and use your strength to lift others. Her work with WINGS is just one example of how she’s creating change — offering women not just safety, but the tools, confidence, and support to rebuild their lives.
And this month, we’re joining that mission!
How Chicago Boudoir Is Taking Action This Month 💜
Domestic violence impacts 1 in 4 women in the U.S. — and it’s not always visible. It thrives in silence and isolation. That’s why I believe it’s so important that our studio does more than just talk about empowerment — we live it.
Here’s how we’re showing up this October:
💜 Proceeds Donated: A portion of every sale this month will be donated directly to WINGS Program, Inc. to support survivors and their families.
🛍️ Volunteering Locally: I’ve been spending time volunteering at the WINGS Resale Shops — because supporting survivors means showing up in person, too.
🥋 Self-Defense Workshop: We’re hosting an in-person self-defense class on October, 18, 2025, to give women tools to feel stronger and safer in their everyday lives. For more information and to grab your ticket, check it out here
💬 Safe Conversations: In our VIP Facebook Group for Empowered Women of Chicago, we’re facilitating conversations, sharing resources, and creating a space where women can talk openly about their experiences, educate and support one another.
This is what empowerment looks like beyond the lens. It’s using our platform, our voice, and our community to stand with women — whether they’re celebrating their bodies in the studio or rebuilding their lives after trauma.
So, as you scroll through the beautiful images and stories this month, know that every shoot, every session, and every conversation is part of something bigger. Together, we’re helping women find safety, confidence, and strength again. 💜
💜 Learn More & Get Involved with WINGS
If hearing Tracey’s story and our mission this month has inspired you, there’s so much more you can do to help. Together, we can make our community a safer, more supportive place for women and families affected by domestic violence.
WINGS Mission:
To provide housing, integrated services, education, and advocacy to end domestic violence.
WINGS Vision:
To help create a society where every survivor has a voice — and the resources — to break the cycle of abuse and reclaim their future.
WINGS Philosophy:
WINGS believes every person has the strength and potential to overcome difficult circumstances and achieve a better quality of life. They are dedicated to treating every adult and child with compassion and respect, honoring the unique needs of each individual and family they serve. Through safe, high-quality facilities, comprehensive client support, and an integrated continuum of housing and services — all grounded in Trauma-Informed Care and safety planning — WINGS helps survivors rebuild from the ground up.
Diversity & Inclusion: A Foundation for Change
WINGS knows that diversity and inclusion are vital to ending domestic violence. By fostering an inclusive culture that values and amplifies the voices of clients, staff, board members, donors, volunteers, and partners, they ensure that every survivor’s journey is supported and seen.
💜 Learn more about WINGS and how you can help at wingsprogram.com. Whether you donate, volunteer, or simply share their mission, your involvement truly makes a difference.
At Chicago Boudoir Photography, we believe empowerment doesn’t stop at the studio doors — it extends into how we show up for one another in our communities. That’s why we’re proud to stand alongside Tracey and the WINGS team in their mission to create a future where every woman has safety, support, and the freedom to thrive. Together, we’re not just raising awareness — we’re building a movement of strength, resilience, and hope. 💜
Interview Auto-Generated Transcript:
Good morning everybody. Liz here from Chicago Boudoir. Pop in. Tell me if you
can see me and hear me in the comments. Say hi. I'm so glad to be with you this morning. And today I am here with Tracy
Meyer and I am so excited to have her here and to chat. Um let me tell you a
little bit about her. Tracy is a seasons seasoned entrepreneur with over 30 years
of experience and an award-winning designer who built her luxury jewelry brand into an internationally recognized
business. Her multiaceted career includes serving as an adjunct faculty
member, a tenure a 10-year tenure on Mayor Dy's fashion council in Chicago,
and representation by one of Chicago's top modeling agencies. Tracy has also
dedicated significant time to philanthropy. She served on the Chicagoland and Northwest Indiana Ronald
McDonald House Women's Auxiliary Board and volunteered for Makea-Wish for over 15 years. Tracy's committed to
empowering women and girls and passionate about mentoring and storytelling. She currently works as a
development consultant in the nonprofit sector with Wings Chicago. Welcome Tracy
and thank you for being here. Good morning, Liz. I'm super excited to be here with you.
So, as you know, in this series with Live with Liz, I bring on women who ma are making a difference in the Chicago
area. And I'm so glad to chat with Tracy today, especially because of her connection to Wings Chicago because
October is domestic violence awareness month and we are honoring that here at
Chicago Budoir. So, Tracy, welcome. Thank you for being here. I want to talk
to you about this. Sometimes life feels like it can be a series of chapters and
you've lived through many chapters. How do you define the chapter that you are in now? What are you up to right now?
It's a great question. Well, as you just mentioned, um uh I'm doing uh a lot of
work with wings on a professional level. Um I think just more in general at the
stage that I'm at right now in my life. Um more than ever I'm living a life uh
filled with purpose. I always have. Um but right now I think you know as we get
older for most people you really narrow down and and start defining the things that make me happy. You know, now I'm do
everything in my life that I'm doing now, whether it's work, the people I'm around, the things that I do in my free time are the things that bring me the
most joy. That's kind of my focus. So maybe some of our listeners don't
know about Wings and what Wing's mission is. Could you explain a little bit about that?
Sure. So Wings is the largest domestic violence intervention agency in the
state of Illinois and they happen to be celebrating their 40th anniversary this
year. So they've been around for a long time. They are leaders in their space and have proven impact that literally
saves the lives of hundreds of people every day. Um through different types of
housing and shelter programs and then uh all different types of integrated services from counseling to mentoring um
it's a it's a very sophisticated operation and like I said they've got the the impact to show um why they're
leaders and innovators in their space. They also have three resale stores that a lot of people have seen. So sometimes
people think, "Oh, wings, you know, you have the resale stores." We're like, "Yes, and a whole lot more." So, and
it's exciting because they're now spreading their footprint uh nationally, have already started doing some work um
in Florida. Uh and the goal is to continue that expansion uh around the country.
Wow. Well, thank you for your dedication to this. Domestic violence is something that affects all of us. Even if you have
not been directly affected by it, it affects our communities and people you know. So, thank you for your advocacy.
Um, I know you started your career as an entrepreneur. Tell us a little bit about that and how you got started.
I think my brain is just wired that way. Uh, honestly, any entrepreneur
will kind of say we have, you know, certain things in common regardless of what we're doing. Um and so from a very
young age I was super creative, loved fashion and um just had such a curious
mind and so um I mean I ended up my first business was a low-fat bakery business which certainly you know is not
in fashion at all but it was very innovative. You said you started a low-fat bakery.
Yes. Fat bakery back in the 80s. We were way ahead of our time. You know what we were
doing was was kind of pioneer. So um and then because of my love of fashion you
know I had an opportunity to to see uh you know fashion or jewelry be made by
hand in India uh and I was mesmerized and that kind of planted the seed which ultimately then became um my next
business in the business I had for the longest period of time uh which was my own uh designer jewelry brand. So I did
that for over 35 years. um uh as a wholesaler in New
York um uh and went through multiple iterations as the economy and life
changes and so forth. Um but uh I am an entrepreneur you know through and
through even the work that I've done for other with other organizations and even the way I approach my work now is very
much from that mindset of thinking outside the box you know building relationships the ability to connect
with people um and see the bigger picture um like really stay focused on the bigger picture so and lots of
creativity always yeah exactly I love that in some ways
there's a thread that goes through all of you've had all of these different experiences. I didn't know you had a
bakery, but jewelry and advocacy, but one of the threads that I see through all of this is helping women, right?
Like jewelry is sort of a female focused business. I mean, it's not entirely female focused, but it it kind of is,
right? Most of your customers were probably women, right? And now with domestic violence, of course, domestic violence can affect men, but it
primarily affects women, right? So, how have you um found like in your own life
to find kind of empowerment and confidence and then also share that with your customers and clients and people
that you're advocating for? Life's not easy. You've had some up and downs. How have you found confidence, empowerment
through through it all? Well, I think we have to remember that we're not born with confidence. Like,
you don't see a little two-year-old running around going, "Oh, man, I'm so confident." You know, confidence is
born, literally born from falling down and learning how to get
back up. And every time you do it, you've got another tool to put in your tool belt. And so that's where our
confidence is is born from. So for me, yes, my life has been filled with many
chapters, you know, the good and the bad. I've learned the most not sitting on the mountain, but sitting in the
valley. And I think, you know, as a society, we want to rush
through trauma and grief because it kind of makes sense. It doesn't feel good. But I think if you if you take the time
to sit in the fire and ashes when you go through something horrible, you come out
with more wisdom. You come out with more clarity and hopefully with a heart that's primed for joy. And so for me um
and the reason that I ended up at wings because some people a lot of times
people say well wait a second you know you come from this world of you know luxury fashion and all these other things um teaching and and so forth how
did you end up you know in this space and it's because I went through my own personal experience with domestic violence um and it was uh
life-changing. I mean, it took me to my knees. And so, I
ultimately decided that I needed to use my voice and my story to help other to
help other people. I've always been a risk taker my entire life, you know. Um,
and uh I just knew that I needed to do that and
that's what led me that's what led me to Wings. So, my confidence
1,000% has been born from from all the brick walls that I've run into in my
life. I think we underestimate the strength and the power that we have
within us, all of us, and the power of our mind. Like, our brains and our minds
are so magical and wonderful. And there's a lot of other people in the world who are going to try and play with
it and kind of tap dance with it and tell us how we have to be. Right now there's more noise in the world than ever before, right? Telling us this is
how you've got to be. And it's not I think what I found particularly I'm 66
and a lot of women who are uh around my age who I see have lost their
self-confidence is it's less about them being okay with who they are and how
they look and it's more about all the noise out in the world saying but you could be better but you could be better.
We're always hearing that, right? We're always hearing but there could be a better version of yourself. Now I will say and from a self-development point of
view absolutely you know that's something that I do and I think everyone should do is always consciously want to
learn and grow right and continue to develop no matter how old you are but that's very different than somebody
saying you're not good enough and so you know I have had to and and still do you
know have to work hard to say and believe you know I good enough
just as I am. And to to I've always practiced a kind of a a stoic mindset,
which is really focusing on today. You know, yesterday's gone and tomorrow's not here. So, living like really truly
living in the moment and focusing on the things that I can control and and trying to let go of everything else. Um, and
then having and maintaining a mind a a a grateful mindset, right? Those three
things. Now, it's not easy. It's a pretty simple practice in terms of understanding it, but it's it's not that
easy to do. It takes a lot of work because we make decisions and then we say, "Oh my god, you know, when things
aren't going great, you know, why did I do that?" But here's the thing. When we have to make a decision, we're doing
what we think is right in that moment, right? Um and sometimes later things don't work
out that great. So instead of sitting in that puddle of regret which is just going to have you spinning and also
create kind of a negative mindset, right? It's like what I do is even when
things aren't great, it's like but there's always opportunities there. There's always something. Okay, this
this might not have turned out the way I wanted it to. And in the case of the work that I'm doing right now, when I
was going through, you know, my experience with domestic violence, it was horrific. Um, and even even once I
got out, the healing part of it was, you know, was horrific. And I didn't even
know what to expect with that. I thought once I was gone that it would be over and it wasn't. Um, but it was in that
moment that I looked for an opportunity, right? instead of crying poor me and you
know falling apart I thought okay so there is an opportunity here for me to find something good here and meaningful
so I think you know it's kind of that's my long way of saying just our minds are
so incredibly powerful and the only one who has control over
your mind is you and that's the beautiful thing everybody else will try and grab it but at the end of the day
you know we are the only ones so my confidence you know my resilience um
really comes from uh maintaining that mindset of you know
gratefulness no matter how you know focusing on my blessings no matter how bad something is I also have daily
mantras every morning I have daily mantras that I say out loud because and this is the science like our
brain can't decipher between good and bad our brain only knows what it's familiar with right so if I'm sitting
and ruminating about bad stuff all day long, my brain's going, "Oh, that's familiar. I'm just going to keep thinking it. I'm just going to keep
thinking it." But if I'm putting those good mantras in every morning over and
over and over again, my brain's going, "Oh, I'm familiar with this. This is kind of cool. So, guess what? You know,
I'm going to kind of go out and find those things today." And it really does work. And it doesn't cost any money. It
just takes time and it takes discipline. Um, but I'm a firm believer in in right
here, you know, is is will dictate, you know, so much of how our life goes. And
that's one thing that we're in control of. There's so much in the world that we're not in control of, especially now,
but that is one thing that we can control. And so, that's that's really my approach to how I live my life. I love
that so much. I've heard you talk about how domestic violence affects people that we might not even necessarily
assume that it affects different, you know, there's domestic violence happening in your neighborhood. It's not
something that's happening far away in some other place, right? Can you talk a little bit about how your eyes were open
to to how domestic violence affects a wide range of women?
Sure. And that's a really good point and I'm glad you brought that up because there is kind of a belief by many people
that domestic violence only happens to poor uneducated women or men and it's
simply not true. Uh there are no boundaries. It can and does happen anywhere. Statistically it's one in
three women and one in four men who will be affected in their lifetime. That's so I mean think about, you know, next time
you're standing in the grocery line or you're, you know, out to dinner, you're at the gym, you're in the office,
anywhere you are, you're on the train, start start counting heads around you, that is the reality. Uh and so we say
when we say to people, whether you realize it or not, someone very close to you has is or will be affected. It's
true. And so there are no boundaries. And most people never expect me, you
know, to be that person that it happened to um because in their minds and that and part of that is because we just have
to do a better job, you know, educating and getting rid of the misinformation that's out there. There's a lot of
misinformation and as a society, we've decided that domestic violence is kind of a dirty word, right? So, it's not
we're nobody really wants to talk about it. But 20 years ago, people didn't want to talk about cancer either. And now
it's very easy. 5 years ago, it was still difficult to talk about mental health. And now it's become an everyday
conversation. Right? So, we need to get to that point where we get the eyeballs off the ceiling when we're talking about
domestic violence because it is real and it affects it's pervasive. It affects so
many people. and um be able to celebrate the people who
survived that just as they if I said to somebody I survived breast cancer for
example you know I would be celebrated I want to see that same celebration for people who've survived abuse you know
any type of abuse so um my role with wings right now I am specifically uh
like leading the development of a new program that will launch uh on Chicago's no are being the leaders in their space.
Wings is now spreading their wings once again and moving into new communities.
Um and so we've done you know a lot of work uh and research up there to uh
build a curated program uh to provide the much needed services for women or
men who are suffering from domestic violence um and go into uh those
communities and then take that same program you know and and spread it elsewhere. So, we're, you know, really,
you know, I say excited, you know, and it's kind of that like, you know, excited. Yes. Excited to be able to
provide these services because we know how much it's needed. Um, but then the other part of me is like, but it's not
really exciting because I wish it didn't exist, right? But the reality is that it
is, you know, it is everywhere. There are no boundaries. And and it's really
important for people to also understand that when you're talking about domestic violence,
it's it's uh there are many forms of of abuse, right? So most people think it's
it's physical abuse, which you know is very true, but not always. But there's psychological abuse, there's financial
abuse, which statistically 99% of the time, 99% of the time, there's financial
abuse when you're dealing with something. Uh so even when you're dealing with people in affluent communities where one might think, oh
well if things are so bad why don't you just leave because you have money. The truth is the access to that money is
usually not there. So it's much more complicated than it might seem. And then there's sexual assault of course you
know sexual vent and um and stalking. So there's many different types. So it's it's complicated and every sector of
people that we deal with have different needs right based on their life, their
lifestyle and so forth. So what might seem as you know an easy way out is
anything but. Um, and then people, you know, families have dogs, you know, or
pets, you know, that they can't take with them when they need to go, you know, all these kinds of things that we
don't think about, but are reasons why people find it that much harder to
leave. So, um, yeah, the idea, why doesn't she just leave?
You don't understand what's behind that, what it would take to leave that. Like, does it mean abandoning a pet, a child?
Does it mean not having any access to funds at How do you leave if you have no access to funds?
And it's overwhelming because if you're dealing with when when you're dealing
with the abuse, no matter what form of it, you're you kind of lose a sense of
who you are, you know, when it gets so bad and then the thought of trying to
make a plan to change your life is so overwhelming for so many people. It's so incredibly difficult. Um and you know
and it's dangerous and there's there's so many things layered in there again that um it's it's very very complex, you
know, it's very very complex and it's and it's very difficult because you're trying just to survive. You're kind of
just trying to get through the day. You're trying to protect your children if you have children. You're trying to keep that smile on your face, you know,
so that nobody really knows what's going on. Um and then if you say, "Okay, now I
got to figure out a plan." You know, sometimes women give up their careers when they get married to focus on
raising their children. It's very common. Uh then all of a sudden that woman's faced with u having to go back
to work, you know, which is another component. Yes. So, um and then there's so much shame, you know, the the shame
and the stigma that's associated with it is can be paralyzing. And I know that
feeling well because I was mortified, you know, when I came back to Chicago when this happened to me. I was living
somewhere else. Um I thought, "Oh my god, like how am I going to I'm going to
how am I going to tell my family and how could this happen to me? I'm a you know, smart woman, you know, uh so on and so
forth." So there's so much and that's something else that we need to eradicate. We need to keep chipping away at that shame and stigma because it is
never the fault of the of the victim. Never ever ever no matter what. Abuse is
always a choice. Um, did you eventually find a way to tell your family and friends or do you feel
like Yes. Okay. Yeah, I had to, you know, because, you know, and I remember the day I did it,
you know, I mean, and it it was well, and then also, you know, being sensitive to the impact that's going to
have then on my family, you know, telling them and and them then knowing
or learning about what I was going through. you know, it's it's very very very difficult, you know, for for family
members and for friends to learn this too. Um, but the there's again kind of
circling back to like the affluent communities, the shame and the stigma is so enormous. You know, sometimes that
alone is the reason um why people aren't able to find you and maybe their family wants to side
with the abuser in some cases if they have a relationship with him as or her as well, right? What happens I think uh
sometimes is you know sometimes some abusers will have like another person
almost living in that body where they're deemed as pillars in the community. Mhm. Um and so then if a woman does uh and
again this could be a man because it goes both ways. Um does find the courage to speak about it to someone, you know,
someone close, uh it's not unusual for that response to be, oh, he would never
do that. He's a great guy. And so sometimes then that person
that you would think would be there for you no matter what takes a step back and
then you feel even more alone. So um it's and even you know again looking you
know from the outside in you know this kind of notion too of like oh those poor
you know those poor Northshore women or whatever you want to say you know like if things were so bad and so and when
you're dealing with communities you know smaller communities it's very common that people know each other right most
likely in a marriage or relationship um the the two people are going to have the
same circle of friends by and large or know the same people. So if a person was struggling and started to reach out even
to other people in the community for help, there's a good chance that the people that they would want to reach out
to in different disciplines, you know, may already know the abuser.
So Right. right challenging. It's complicated. And then you have the
kind of the threats that can get layered in there. you know, if you leave me, I'll destroy you. You'll never see your
kids again. You know, all those kinds of conversations. That's real. And that happens to everyone everywhere. And so
there's, you know, what might seem as, you know, a, you know, an easy thing whether a woman or a man is choosing to
go into a domestic violence to call the domestic violence hotline and go into a shelter program, which are phenomenal,
right? And very successful whether they take that route or they're going to stay with a friend or whatever it might be.
Um it's there are so many factors that
that are um in front of that person that they have to consider. Um and it's so
it's the the message that we like to put out there is you know it is complicated
aside from taking requiring courage you know it is extremely complicated.
logistically we need to give people more grace, you know. Um we really do and and if someone
ever does say to any of you listening, if anyone ever does open up to you um
and expresses something that they're going through like this, the best thing that you can say to them is, "I believe
you." Believe you. Yeah. I believe you. Let's say someone listening wants to
support wings and their mission. What are some ways that people can do that? I know here at Chicago Budoir, for
example, if you book a photo shoot during the month month of October, which is right now, we will be donating
proceeds from that photo shoot to Wings. So, if you've if a Budwoir photo shoot's been on your bucket list, this would be
a great time to get a photo shoot and then also support Wings. But Tracy, what are some other ways that we can support
this organization and their mission? Well, there are lots of ways. You said some people like to volunteer because of
the nature of the business. It's uh it there are, you know, not as many
opportunities for hands-on, although there are people that can go through training if they really have the desire
to get involved, you know, in one of the Wings facilities that we do have people that do that. Uh Wings has fundraisers
throughout the year that they do. In fact, their biggest one is taking place tomorrow night. Um so there's there are
always volunteer opportunities. um on the event stage. Um and then um
if anybody is affiliated with their own, you know, nonprofit or works on a
corporate level um and that and that that company is involved in giving back to the community, um people will then go
to their u leadership team and say, "Hey, you know, I'd love for you to
consider this organization." And again, it could be it could be a group of people that are able to do a hands-on
kind of thing. It could be I've got a couple people you which you're doing this month and then you know like
digital fundraising drives that we do. Um and then to other nonprofits out
there, you know, I'm always looking for opportunities to partner with other nonprofits, you know, where there's no
conflict of interest and let's join forces, you know, and raise money together. um because there's lots of
opportunity you know in that space too. So I would say if anybody's interested in getting involved uh they can go to
wingsprogram.com and there is uh they'll find on there um
the opportunity to volunteer um and you know I don't know if there's a way to
you know anybody could reach out to me too you know through Facebook or whatever if they're interested we can
always find a way to get you involved. We have uh councils. We also have
councils. We of course have boards. So there's people that get involved with the board or various councils. Um there
Yeah, there are plenty of ways. And just one really simple way, if you go and shop at the resale store, the money you
spend will support Wings's mission. So 100%. Yeah. So, I volunteer I've just started
volunteering at one of the shops sorting sorting and tagging items and there's so
much great stuff that comes through there. So, um you know, shopping in a resale shop keeps stuff out of
landfills. You can find a lot of great deals and then of course also the money that you spend at the resale shop will
support Wing's mission. So, yeah, goes directly to supporting these programs. And I'm glad you said that too
because that's another volunteer opportunity is to work in one of the re uh the re uh resale stores either you
know behind the scenes sorting or you can be out on the floor um you know interacting with people and it's it's it's extremely rewarding experience.
Yeah. I've really I've done it a few times now. Really cool. Yeah. Yeah. So Tracy, turning um to a different part
of your life for a minute here. You recently had the opportunity to audition
to be part of the Golden Bachelor TV show and ultimately you decided not to
be on the show. You you're not on the show. It's aired right now, but you went through a lot of the process at the
beginning. Tell us how you got started with that, how you got interested in this franchise. Um I watched The Golden
Bachelor. I love it. And I was so excited to hear that you had auditioned for it. Tell us a little bit about that.
Well, I too had watched the first two seasons and found it extremely endearing and a little different than typical
reality TV, even within the the Bachelor franchise because you were dealing with
people who were, you know, in our golden years. Um, who came together and just
had this camaraderie, this it was just this really beautiful union because everybody had suffered different types
of loss in their life, which is very real, particularly as you get to be in your 60s and above. Um and and really
that you know there was that sense of celebration of life and so I think so
many people watching it were like shaking their head. Yeah. And tearing up like including myself like I really get
this. I really I really get I would say like oh me too me too me too kind of
thing. So I got really drawn in and then you know I had a few friends who were just kind of nudging me you know saying
oh you should apply you should apply whatever. So I so I filled out an application one night. I honestly forgot
all about it and then handful of months later, you know, I got a call and uh
which was the beginning of, you know, going through the vetting process. Um it was a over five month uh long journey.
Yeah. It was really a lot really which is good, you know, that they really put you through. Yeah. But like a lot of hours spending
time talking to people or what? Well, I mean it and yeah, and luckily since they were in California, you know, I could do
everything, you know, after hours here because they're two hours behind us. But yeah, lots of interviews, you know,
background checks. I mean, there's lots of stuff they have, but they have to do that, right? Um it's important and good
for everybody. So, I'm I'm glad that they do, you know, a very extensive vetting process. It's super important.
Um there were 60,000 women who applied. 60,000? Yeah. which you and the cool thing about
that is it really tells you how many people who are in their you know and not
everybody truly was in their golden years you know I'm sure there were some younger than what we typically would say
golden years but nonetheless 60,000 they have a strict age requirement for the show I think I mean I think they say
um I mean technically to apply to be I think on any of their shows you just have to be over 18 or whatever that that
kind of But but for the golden, I mean, it kind of is is 60 and up is is kind of
the unders trying to do, right? Kind of the understood thing. Um, but it just shows you how many single
women there are out there in the world, you know, in this age group was, you know, pretty incredible. Um, so anyway,
I it we I went through the whole thing and I was, you know, then made it in the shop 40 and, you know, getting
getting close to, you know, the time of when um the filming would start. And
then it just what happened is the the person who was chosen as a bachelor, Mel, because the show's on now, so
everybody knows who he is, did a podcast and voiced that he uh prefers dating
younger women. Um, and so he made that comment. He even said the He even said 45. He even said the word 45, which is I
mean I'm 45. Like come on. Yeah. He said 45 to 60 and then told the
executive producer, you know, I'm just letting you know anybody over 60 I'm going to I'm cut. Um and so this came
out and not in the spirit of the show. Let's be honest. That's not what the show's about. Well, it, you know, for me it's
like I I have no judgment if you know he can date whoever he wants, however he
wants, you know, that's his choice. That's that's none of my business. But hearing that, um, and I will be honest
with you, my initial thought was, "Oh, I'll show him how cool we are in our
60s, you know, like we'll show him how great we are and how worthy we are in our 60s and how fabulous we're living
our lives." And then the other voice in my head said, "Oh, no, you won't,
girlfriend. You know, you're not going to prove your worthiness to anyone." Um,
which circles back to the experiences that I've been through,
right? You know, the old me, you know, years ago, you know, would have probably said, "Oh, well, I'll go prove myself.
I'll go prove my worthiness." And so, and worthiness actually comes from within. Other people don't determine our
worthiness. We do, right? We do. So, I knew in that moment it was so incredibly
disappointing because I was so excited about the opportunity, but I knew there was no way that it that
I could stand in front of a man who would speak that way about women. And again, I'm not judging him or his
decisions because that's that's his business, not I just knew it wasn't any longer the right fit for me. Um because
if I'm really going to be true to myself, uh I want to stand next to a man, you know, who who recognizes my
worthiness, who doesn't question it, right? And so, um yeah, so it'll be
interesting to see how this season plays out. Have you been Have you been watching? Yeah, I'm watching because, you know,
because I'm curious, you know, to see um and um I mean, it it is reality TV. We
know that. And so, um, a little more drama this time around, it appears. Um,
but, you know, in the end, I mean, I hope I hope maybe he actually really does, you know, uh, rethink things and
think, wow, these women are actually incredible, you know, women who are closer to his age. That would be a
beautiful thing. And if it doesn't, then, you know, then that then that's okay, too. But, um,
it's interesting. I mean, the thing I So, I watch the Golden Bachelor. I watched the last two seasons. I I love
it. And also you have to keep remembering like they are producing a TV show. I know they are producing entertainment. The
goal of the show was not actually for them to help women find love, right? Like they don't really care, right? If
these women find love, right? Um and that's what I think is you kind of served this idea of like, oh, these
women deserve to find love, but like actually what's being produced is just a TV show. It's just entertainment, right?
And sometimes that gives me a little pause. Like I feel like in some ways the women are being used a little bit like
their feelings are being like exploited for the audience. I don't know if you have kind of mixed feelings about a show
like that. Um I mean I think I think again it's you
you know yes undoubtedly a lot of these types of shows are scripted to a large
extent. Um it's and but everybody I
think everybody knows what they're stepping into, right? It's you know every woman who chose to do this season
um had the choice to say yes or no, right? It's so I think when somebody I
think when somebody tries to then cry, oh, you know, poor me kind of thing, it
it's almost like but you kind of know, you know, what to expect. You know what
I'm saying? Like, and so and and it's true, you know, that people do these types of shows for different reasons.
Some people may sign up and and go on, you know, with really pure intention of
thinking, you know, this is this is I just want to find a great guy or I want to find a great woman or whatever. You know, other people might have other
agendas. You know, it happens, right? And so, again, it's like not my place,
you know, to judge anybody else. I'm not going to judge ABC. They can do whatever they want. All I can do at the end of
the day is make decisions that work, you know, for me. And every other woman, you
know, hopefully is doing the same thing. And if they make a decision that turns out not to be the greatest, then again,
you know, if if that was me or even in this case, you know, as disappointed as I was when all when I heard what he
said, um I immediately thought, all right, where's what's the opportunity here for
me? how how can I use my experience in a way to kind of inspire and empower other
women to, you know, stay true to who they are, right? And don't ever feel
like you have to prove your worthiness to anyone no matter what. So, there's
always something good that comes out of things, you know,
if we choose to see it that way. So, would you audition for another season with another Golden Bachelor?
I don't know. I honestly don't know. Um um I don't
know because even even when I made the decision, it wasn't like uh oh my god, I
would never do the show. It was like this show this season isn't the right fit for me.
But you're glad you're glad you auditioned. I'm super glad I did. Listen, I never in a mill I forgot all about it. Like I
said, when I and I never in a million years and every time I made it to the next stage, I would sit and go, "Oh my
god, really?" like I can't believe this is happening, you know? I mean, it's it's just it's kind of overwhelming when
you think how many people, you know, they were sorting through. So, in from
that standpoint, I would say to any other woman, when you go through any kind of process, you know, and you and
you make it, you know, close to the end, whether you choose to not go forward or whether they choose
not to go forward with you or whatever, don't ever forget how far you've gotten.
you know, just always be proud of yourself, you know, and that's I guess my takeaway is that, you know,
they found something special in each one of us for whatever reason, you know, to keep us in it that that long. And that's
um and that feels good, I think. You know, I mean, you would have been great on the show. I would have loved to have seen
you on the show. It'll be interesting to see how, you know, I know people are like kind of,
you know, trying to predict. There is no way to predict, you know, what's going to happen. I mean, it's impossible to know. Um, and it's, you know, emotions
come into play and stuff like that. But it will be very interesting to see how it turns out. Indeed.
Yeah. And I do think the visibility like the Golden Bachelor saying, "Hey, we could put six-year-old women on TV." I
think that's good. And I think that's sort of new and I like it. Even if I don't agree with everything the way they're doing it and everything,
you know, I do think, you know, let's do let's have more of this in different ways. I agree with that because it
really is kind of reminding us of how exuberant our lives can be. Again, they call it the golden years for a reason,
right? But yet, like I said before, I find so many women once they get into
their golden years, you know, tend to start losing self-confidence, you know.
Um, and I'm guilty of it too in certain aspects. You know, we look in the mirror and I'm like, "Oh, is my skin sagging
too much?" You know, there's certain things as good as we take care of ourselves and all the things that we do,
you know, it's it's aging. It's part of aging. And that circles back to
society telling us all day long over and over and over again, you're not good enough. You're not quite good enough.
You could be better. You could be better. Could be better. And that's tough. And that's why I'm so passionate about um mentoring, you know, girls,
like teenage girls. And I have two sons. I don't have daughters, but it's like getting to these girls when they're
young and building, you know, building that self-confidence and teaching them about self-compassion. I think that's
one of the, you know, things that we forget about is giving ourselves, you know, some grace and and and
self-compassion and and to really believe you you are enough and to seek
out those special gifts that you have. You know, everybody I believe everybody
you when I talk to a lot of these younger girls, it's like everybody is a shining star.
Yeah. Some of them just don't know it yet. So, our job is to find those things that make them super special, which is how
they landed on this earth. You know, how you land on this earth that makes you special, what makes your heart sing, what makes your heart pound fast. Those
are your gifts and that's, you know, your focus and how you build. and for stop listening to what the rest of the
world is telling you. How you have to be, how you have to look, what school you have to go to, all these things that are just creating so much stress and so
much pressure for young young people. Um, that's really a passion of mine is
to try and eliminate as and it's hard, you know, it's really hard. It's it's a
really difficult time, you know, for young people to be living uh for everybody, you know, with all that's
going on in the world, but in particular um that um that again that
self-confidence is not, you know, we don't have confidence, you know, just out of the gate. Um it's born. And so to
for for people, younger people to realize, you know, you need to fall down um in order to you know, learn how to
get back up. And the cool thing is every time you put another tool in your tool belt and you get through something, you
get to that point in your life where you go, "Bring it on, baby, because I can handle it." Like, you know, that's how I
feel like no matter what's going to hit me now, go ahead. You know,
um and that and that's and that's a beautiful thing. And so being in our 60s
is wonderful where we have all this wisdom and all these life experiences to
share with people and to and and to further define where we want to sit in
in what's going to give us the most joy and pleasure. And those are gifts to that we I think have an obligation to
share with younger people. Um because there's only only certain things in life that you can
learn by doing. When somebody 24 years old tells me I'm an expert at something,
I look at them and say you can't be because you haven't been alive long enough to be an expert. You may be very
very good at what you do. You may be very smart and well educated, but there's nothing that replaces life
experiences. Nothing. Well, Tracy, thank you so much for sharing your wisdom and those thoughts
today. We are so excited about everything you're doing and are excited to follow what's next for you. And we're
excited to donate to Wings this month. And thank you so much for sharing your time with us today. If you have any
questions or comments you'd like to leave with for Tracy, feel free to leave them below. And we will see you guys on
our next episode of Live with Liz. Thank you so much for joining us today, Tracy. Thank you. And thank everyone. Thanks so
much.