Holding Your Ground and Compromising: Knowing How to Navigate a Fine Line
In relationships, in business, and in life, compromises are often necessary. You can't always get what you want unless you know when to compromise. So many things that we want depend on a transaction with other people. Additionally, sometimes it is better to give up some of what you want because the other party needs something else from you too. We are part of communities and it serves us all to share and sacrifice for each other.
On the other hand, sometimes it's best to stand your ground knowing that the other person will eventually concede. Standing your ground in some situations is a virtue, but in other situations it can be a relationship killer or can impede progress for you or others. It's important to avoid thinking that stubbornness is a virtue just because it indicates consistency or strength. Those who hang onto positions that are bigoted, disproven by science or completely selfish need to reconsider their positions.
In order to know when it's time to compromise, you need to understand the situation and what both parties are really looking for. You may want something from me but not be willing or able to give up anything in return. That is a bad trade-off that will leave us both feeling unhappy about the transaction. But sometimes we have things that we both need and want. Then it becomes a matter of who will bend the most or compromise in ways that are acceptable to both parties.
It's key to understanding what you really need from the other person and knowing when to hold your ground and when to give up some ground for someone else's needs.
A good example is when you want a promotion but the boss doesn't think you're qualified. Check in with yourself and consider if your boss has a good point and has presented a path for you to succeed. If that's the case it's usually best to compromise and work on your qualifications for the next time, rather than stand your ground which will likely harm a work relationship and not achieve the desired outcome.
Standing your ground has some merit. We can't be infinitely pliable in a futile attempt to always please others. Even the most spineless politicians have to draw a line somewhere. Often instead of seeing eye-to-eye with someone else you'll at least know how far apart you are which can help decide if it's worth trying to bridge that gap.
It might be the case where you're not on the same page as someone else and it has nothing to do with their qualifications or understanding of what needs doing, but rather your expectations are just different (i.e., a preference for playing Scrabble versus chess). This is when compromise becomes more valuable in the name of building and preserving friendships.
Successful people know that there's a time and place for stubbornness. Understanding when to hold your ground is just as important as understanding when it becomes necessary to give in. You're not going to find yourself always agreeing with others, but you'll be able to avoid unnecessary conflict if you learn how and where to compromise. It's a fine line, but navigating that fine line is a critical life skill.