What To Do When You're Not Feeling Beautiful
There are days when we just feel terrible and sometimes the knee-jerk feeling is we’re not beautiful enough. Have you ever suffered a setback in work or relationships thought that it was because you weren’t attractive enough? Sometimes the line between cause and effect isn’t even that clear but we end up in a negative loop and we’re convinced that something is wrong and can never be fixed.
As you know, I’m a boudoir photographer and I work to empower women and help them see their beauty. From my viewpoint, I can tell you that there is ZERO correlation between a woman’s confidence and how much they actually look like a Victoria’s Secret model.
I have had women who are practically swimsuit models come in and just bash their looks the whole session. Conversely, I’ve had women who don’t fit that same profile come in and swagger and strut like they own the world. I wish that all women could see their potential!
When you’re not feeling beautiful, you need to do 2 things:
Build your self-confidence
Let that confidence show
How do you build your self-confidence, especially as it pertains to how you feel about your looks? Here are some tips and tricks.
Eliminate negative talk about yourself. Instead of thinking “I have ugly ears.” Rephrase it to “I tend to have a thought that I have ugly ears.” That makes the issue in question your thoughts about your ears—how do you change your thoughts about your ears?
Make an inventory of your positive qualities. Speak to yourself or write these thoughts down. Describe all of your features to yourself in detail, even those you don’t like. Describe them in positive terms!
Stop negative thoughts about other people’s looks. You can only be harsh on yourself if you are harsh with others. Don’t waste your mental energy.
Don’t compare yourself to others. Love yourself, and appreciate that we all have unique qualities.
With confidence, you’re ready to let that confidence shine.
Try a new look, and be bold! Get that cut or color you’ve wanted to try. Get a new outfit that doesn’t look like everything else in your closet. Try a new eye shadow or lip color. Change is good!
Wear makeup and clothes that make YOU feel beautiful! Experiment, take time to try on clothes and see what you like! Spend some time trying different combinations.
Address any health concerns. Sometimes ladies get into bad spirals of feeling unattractive and not addressing aches and pains or other health challenges. Go to specialists (dermatologists, GI specialists, physical therapists, etc) and get them to take a close look. Once you’re addressing the health challenges you have, you’ll feel more confident.
Pamper yourself. Get that massage! Get your nails done. Treat yourself as if you deserve nice things—because you do! This is where a boudoir shoot could really work some wonders!
