Balancing Authenticity and Aspiration
“Be yourself — not your idea of what you think somebody else’s idea of yourself should be.” — Henry David Thoreau
One of the most common pieces of advice given for just about any social situations is “be yourself”. Blind Date? Be Yourself. Networking event? Be Yourself. Meeting in-laws for the first time? Be Yourself.
Authenticity is also a buzzword tossed around as a criteria for judging thing, and it resonates with the “Be Yourself” statement. What was my speech missing? Authenticity. Why don’t I like this particular piece of art? Lack of Authenticity. Why was that song so memorable? Authenticity.
There is constant tension between the image we’d like to portray and reality. We wear nice clothes to fancy restaurants. We dress up for work. We wear flattering bathing suits. We only post photographs of ourselves in the best light. Where does the happy medium between our true self and our aspirational self?
From my perspective as a boudoir photographer, you need to create space for an aspirational view of yourself. You also need to create space to be authentic. I think we appreciate authenticity in others, but in ourselves we need to have something to grow into.
Assume a virtue, if you have it not.
-William Shakespeare, Hamlet
Here are a few ways that being authentic really serves you:
Being brave enough to express your true opinions
Not feeling the need to constantly please others
Confidence
Making bold choices
Alternately, an aspirational attitude can help you with
Thinking twice before criticizing someone
Allowing yourself to be self-reflective
Empathy
Compromise
Personal growth
The things I’ve listed under both categories are good things, but understanding the balance is what helps us have loving relationships with others, and allow ourselves to be better.
Source:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/click-here-happiness/201904/develop-authenticity-20-ways-be-more-authentic-person
https://liberationist.org/how-to-be-authentic-in-a-fake-world/
