Ask a Boudoir Photographer: "I feel selfish booking a boudoir photoshoot- should I really spend money on myself?"
Is It Selfish to Spend Money on a Boudoir Photoshoot for Yourself?
Question:
“Hi Chicago Boudoir, I have a question. I’ve been thinking about doing a boudoir photoshoot for a while, but I keep talking myself out of it. I have kids, and I always feel like any extra money should go toward them instead of something for me. It almost feels selfish to spend money on something like a boudoir photoshoot. Is that something other moms struggle with?”
Answer from Chicago Boudoir:
Thanks for your question! Yes, lots of other women - not just moms - struggle with this exact same question!
In fact, his is one of the most common things women tell us when they first reach out. And when you have kids, it’s very easy to fall into the habit of putting yourself last.
School and home expenses, activities, clothes, birthdays, family needs… it can feel like there’s always something more important to spend money on.
And over time, many women stop doing things just for themselves.
Many Women Are Used to Putting Themselves Last
Whether you're raising kids, building a career, caring for aging parents, supporting a partner, or simply juggling everyday life, it's easy to get into the habit of putting everyone else's needs before your own.
Over time, your energy naturally goes toward work, family, responsibilities, and the people who depend on you. You become so focused on taking care of everyone else that you rarely stop to ask what you need.
Somewhere along the way, many women quietly stop doing things that celebrate themselves. They convince themselves that self-care can wait, that everyone else should come first, or that spending time or money on themselves isn't a priority.
A boudoir session is one of those rare experiences that's entirely about you. It's a chance to pause, reconnect with yourself, and remember that you deserve to be celebrated too.
If becoming a mom has also changed the way you feel about your body, you might also enjoy reading "I've Had Two Kids and My Body Isn't What It Used to Be. How Can I Feel Confident for a Boudoir Photoshoot?"
Taking Care of Yourself Is Not Selfish
It can feel strange at first to spend money on something that doesn’t directly benefit your kids or family.
But investing in yourself is not selfish.
In fact, many women find that doing something that makes them feel confident, appreciated, and beautiful has a positive ripple effect into the rest of their life. When you feel good about yourself, it often shows up in the way you carry yourself, your energy, and how you move through the world.
Sometimes taking care of yourself is one of the healthiest things you can do.
When You Value Yourself, Other People Notice
When you choose to invest in yourself, you're sending a powerful message—not just to the people around you, but to yourself. You're reminding yourself that your confidence, happiness, and well-being matter too.
And if you do have children, there's an added benefit. When kids grow up seeing their mom value herself, celebrate herself, and make time for her own happiness, it teaches them an important lesson about self-worth. Especially for daughters, seeing their mom confident and proud of herself can have a lasting impact. It shows them that becoming a parent doesn't mean losing your identity as a woman. (And if you’re a mom, you might also wonder what would happen if your children ever found your boudoir photos! Don’t worry, we also answer that question on the blog HERE!)
No matter what season of life you're in, giving yourself permission to celebrate who you are isn't selfish. It's a reminder that you deserve the same love, care, and attention you so freely give to everyone else.
This Experience Is Still About You
Boudoir isn’t about being extravagant or indulgent.
For many women it’s about reconnecting with themselves after years of focusing on everyone else. It’s about seeing yourself in a new light and remembering that you are still worthy of celebration.
And that feeling can stay with you long after the photos are taken.
Many Women Say They’re Glad They Finally Did It
A lot of women’s boudoir journey stories start by telling us they thought about doing a boudoir session for years before finally giving themselves permission to do it.
Afterward, many say the same thing: they’re glad they stopped waiting.
Not because the photos are perfect, but because the experience helped them reconnect with their confidence and reminded them that they deserve moments that are just for them.
Curious What a Boudoir Session Might Feel Like?
If you've been interested in boudoir but have felt hesitant because you're so used to putting everyone else first, you're definitely not alone.
A complimentary phone consultation is a great way to learn more about the experience, ask questions, and see if it feels like something you’d enjoy.
Call or text 312-425-2946 to schedule your complimentary phone consultation and start planning your boudoir experience.
Adele’s Story: "I Kept Telling Myself There Were More Important Things to Spend Money On"
For years, I wanted to book a boudoir photoshoot.
Every few months I'd find myself looking at photos online and thinking, One day.
But every time I started to seriously consider it, I'd talk myself out of it.
There was always something that seemed like a better use of the money. Home projects. A vacation. Bills. Christmas gifts. Saving for the future. It wasn't that I couldn't afford it—I just couldn't justify spending that kind of money on myself.
I kept thinking, It's just pictures. I should spend that money on something more practical.
Eventually I reached out to Chicago Boudoir with a few questions, and one thing Liz said really stuck with me.
She told me that so many women struggle with giving themselves permission to invest in themselves, but that almost no one regrets doing it afterward.
That conversation completely shifted my perspective.
I realized I had no problem spending money on experiences, gifts, or things that made other people happy. But when it came to doing something just for me, I felt guilty before I had even booked.
So I finally said yes.
The day of my session felt like hitting the pause button on real life for a few hours. I wasn't thinking about work, errands, or my never-ending to-do list. I was simply enjoying the experience.
When I saw my photos, I was blown away.
Yes, I loved the images, but what surprised me most was how I felt afterward. I walked away with so much more confidence than I expected.
Looking back, I don't think of it as spending money on photos.
I think of it as investing in myself and wasn’t selfish afterall.
Ask a Boudoir Photographer Series
This article is part of our Ask a Boudoir Photographer series. Many women have questions, concerns and hesitations before booking something as personal a boudoir photoshoot, and that’s completely normal. In this series we answer questions that real Chicago women ask us all the time about boudoir photography. If you’d like to read more in this series, you can explore other questions and answers here. And if you have a question of your own, please text us at 312-425-2946 or email it to hello@chicago-boudoir.com.