Watch my interview with Certified Holistic Health Coach, Laura Folkes! [video]

I really enjoyed having Laura come to the VIP Group for Empowered Women of Chicago for an interview on LIVE WITH LIZ about “What your “bad” eating is really about (no shame included!)”

We had a fabulous time chatting about:

💗 Laura’s personal struggle in her weight loss journey and what motivated her to help others as a Holistic Health Coach
💗 How food is about more than just eating—it’s emotional and psychological
💗 How “bad” eating is often a symptom of deeper issues, not a failure of willpower
💗 Identifying why we turn to food and how clarity can shift behaviors
💗 How a holistic health coach can guide you in identifying the root causes of habits like emotional eating, stress, or burnout, helping you develop sustainable lifestyle changes that align with your values and goals!

If you struggle with your own emotional relationships with food and are ready for the support you need to end your food battle once and for all, be sure to watch the full interview with Laura with the link on the button below and feel free to reach out to her at Laura B. Folkes, Certified Holistic Health Coach.

Auto Generated Transcript:
okay good morning hello I'm Liz Hansen

from Chicago budoir Photography and

really excited to be here with you today

if you can see us and hear us would you

please hit like or love or a little

comment the technology on this is always

just a little bit tricky so I'm really

glad to be here with you today this is

our live with Liz series where I

interview local women who are making a

difference and I am so excited to be

here today with Laura folks thanks for

being with us Laura thanks for having me

I'm so excited to be talking to you

today so Laura folks is a certified

holistic health coach and today she's

going to be talking about what your

quote unquote bad eating habits are

really about and there is no shame So

today we're going to be talking about

Health Nutrition eating with Laura I'm

really excited to talk to you about this

topic

guess what we all have to eat every

single day so everyone who's listening

can relate to this so first off Laura um

thanks for being here and I'd love to

hear what tell me a little bit about

what you do and how you got into it yeah

so I'll start with how I got into it

first and then we'll transition into

what I do um so I struggled with my

weight from the age of 12 went on many

diets starting at the age of 13 and

would yo-yo um often on different diets

lose weight gain it all back plus more

and in 2006 or 2008 I was I lost 60

pounds and was able to keep it off and

maintain it for the most part and what I

found and didn't realize this at the

time but what I found is that I was

still stuck in a cycle of eating well

for a little while and staying within uh

really tight box almost of like eating

well for a while saying screw it eating

what I wanted gaining a couple pounds

having to rain it in again so really

trying to control my weight and what I

was eating but it was like an all or

nothing so I was either really all in

and really like good and then there were

times where I was like screw it and

eating whatever I wanted and so it was

very unbalanced for me and created a lot

of stress around um my eating and was a

main focus of a lot of my thoughts that

and

so as I was going I was working

advertising at the time was losing my

passion for that job and career and so I

started to think about what I wanted to

do next and I kept thinking about people

coming to me for advice and guidance as

they were going through their weight L

Journeys too and that really stayed in

the back of my mind as I was exploring

for about four years what my next career

was going to

be and I found out about health coaching

this was in 2013 so this was before it

really became a a big um industry

and learned about health coaching was

like this is what I want to do so went

to The Institute for Integrative

Nutrition to get my certification and

while I was getting my certification I

was introduced to a health coach who had

been already practicing for a few years

and was focusing on the relationship

with food and I was talking to her more

from a business perspective just to get

a little bit more of an understanding of

how she became a health coach how she's

had success and stuff and as I was

talking to her I learned about her

process called truce with food and as

she was explaining it to me I was like

oh I need this so I started working with

her to work on my relationship with food

because I had never thought about it

really I always thought it was I had to

be like on a diet and just more around

focusing on the food than really

focusing on my relationship with it so I

started going through the process with

her and learned so much about myself in

that process and that's when I was like

this is what I need to do with my

clients and I can share more about what

that is but I will pause because it

looked like you had a question a thought

no I'm just so it's just so interesting

to hear you use the term relationship

with food because I think so many of us

can relate to that phrase what does that

mean to you to have a relationship with

food yeah it's really because we do have

to eat all the time and to me the

relationship with food is it's not just

the act of eating there's so much more

to food than just what we're putting in

our mouths and it's it can be a strained

relationship where we're thinking about

it a lot there can be like a love and

LoveHate relationship some people will

say it feels like an abusive

relationship kind of where it like we

beat ourselves up after eating things

that we feel like we shouldn't eat or

that are bad and then on the flip side

there's the positive stuff right where

it's like um it's C ation it's

connection it's a way to really it can

be a way to help soothe Us in times when

we're feeling um like when there's some

emotional stuff that's coming up so

there's so much more to our eating and

to food than just the food itself like

we most of us have a relationship with

it in whatever way that looks like for

us yeah interesting so talk to me okay

so you you got certified to be a health

coach coach you went to this integrative

Center um you met this woman you did her

truth truce with food course so what

what do you do now to help people with

food so since then I've also been

certified as a truce with food

practitioner as well working with Ally

my health coach and um she's been a huge

mentor to me and throughout the process

so what there's a framework that we go

through to really help figure out how

we're actually using food as a sense of

safety and how is it showing up and

often when we're turning to food and it

feels like we're eating out of alignment

with our goals so whether that's binge

eating it could be restricting it can be

emotional eating whatever that is that

to me is a sign or symptom that there's

something else going on and so I'm

looking at that as how are we turning to

food when our belonging feels at risk

often um so that's a high level but and

I can go into more detail around that

but that's like yeah so you're not just

helping people lose weight is what I

understand you saying I don't promise

weight loss at all and often it is a

goal that people have but really it is

more around feeling more comfortable and

confident in their bodies with

themselves and just clearing up a lot of

that food noise where they're focusing

so much on food that it's creating so

much stress and it's taking them away

from being able to do things that they

really want to do and they feel like if

they could just free up some of that

food noise they would be able to be more

present take more risks do more things

with their lives so it's really more

about reconnecting with ourselves than

it is really about the weight and then

weight loss may be a side effect of the

work for some people some people it's

not but it isn't the focus of our work

together I love that so okay today we

were the the the topic like that we were

going to that I brought up at the

beginning was this what does your quote

unquote bad eating what is it really

about so first off tell me why you put

bad eating in quotes yeah let's start

there yeah so I put it in quotes because

a lot of times people will say like oh

I've been bad or I've been good so it's

the way that we talk about it and also

there's we've been classifying food

probably for years especially with diet

culture that it's good or bad so it's

really I don't look at what we're eating

or how we're eating as good or bad I put

it in quotes because again that bad

eating is more of like a sign or symptom

to me that there's something else going

on so it's not really about the food and

there's also a lot of judgment that we

put on ourselves based on our eating and

we want to shift away from that and we

really do shift away from that in the

process that we go through as well

because we make a lot of meaning about

ourselves about things in life based on

what we're doing how we're reacting and

our how we're

eating when we call Foods or behaviors

bad or good what does that do what

effect do you feel like that has on

people's relationship with

food that's a really good question

um it I would say it's not just about

the relationship with food but it's the

relationship between them El and how

they're like the Judgment that they're

putting on themselves so a lot of times

it is when people will say like oh I was

bad there can be some shame around that

or there's like that Judgment of like oh

I have failed or I don't have control or

discipline or willpower like we

internalize that and make it mean

something about us versus what I would

look at is what was going on that took

you off track like if that is what it

feels like is off track or LED you eat

something that you felt like was out of

alignment with your goals what was

actually taking you down that path that

isn't really about lack of willpower

discipline or that there's something

wrong with you or there's that

judgment that's what it can really do

there's so much more to it than just the

like the label of the bad eating and

where is that coming

from yeah something that I think about a

lot with bad foods and good foods and

I'm putting those both in quotes um is

that for me it's confusing there okay

our it seems to me and I'm not a health

coach that's why I'm asking you our food

supply and what's available it's so

confusing and there's so many mixed

messages about what foods are nutritious

and and and would make me feel good and

what what isn't right so like something

that you might think is you know packed

with Nutri nutrition when you look at

the label it's actually some Ultra

processed xantham gum like Frankenstein

food but on the on the other side of the

box it's like whole grains what you know

so like to me that's part of the problem

is what is offered in our world is

confusing there's like a lot of mixed

messages about food for sure yeah and

one of the things that comes up a lot

too is

there's we're conditioned in ways and

also disconnected from what it is that

we want to choose it's more of what we

feel like we should be eating or

shouldn't be eating and so what we

really want to get to is that we can

trust ourselves in our choices and also

to get to a place where we are able to

eat more

naturally like intuitively and mindfully

and when we work through what our

relationship with food is all about and

how we're trying to Center safety or

belonging then we can make choices that

are more in alignment with how we want

to be eating and some of that noise

doesn't really matter because we

naturally turn more towards the foods

that are going to be more nourishing for

our for us interesting and there is

education too like some people do need

some more education but most of my

clients would say that they have so much

nutrition information they know they

could teach nutrition classes they have

so much information but they're just not

consistently sticking with it and they

don't know why so that's yes there can

be times where we need to break through

some of that clutter and some of the um

and figure out like what do these

packages actually mean and then on the

flip side they're also can be times

where we just need to be able to have

build some of that self trust that we

can make the decision that is more in

alignment with how we want to be eating

I heard you use the phrase intuitive

eating and I've heard that phrase like

thrown is that a is that something that

you incorporate into your training what

does that mean yeah so I don't I don't

I'm not trained in intuitive eating like

the actual process what tends to happen

for people is as we work through where

what is actually happening with their

relationship with food and um

where the story that they have created

and and the story is typically created

earlier in our lives when we don't have

the full context of what's happening

around us so we internalize it and make

things about us so that can be if you

grew up in a household where like I've

had clients who's siblings had a health

issue and so they internalized that

their sibling needs more support and

their needs don't matter as much and

that wasn't explicitly said to them but

it was more or yeah it was more of an

implicit thing that they took on and

made it about them so they have taken on

that they can just sit more in the

background not speak up for their needs

and just accommodate everybody else and

their needs don't matter but then not

that they don't matter at all but that's

how they internalize it and turn to food

to kind of fill that or when they have a

need and don't know how to speak up for

it they feed it and a lot of women even

even if you didn't have a sibling

without a with a health issue for I

think a lot of women can relate to the

idea that my needs come last my needs

don't matter I must give and give and

give to everyone else and if I take care

of myself itself like I think a lot of

us can relate to that yeah and so we

turn to food to kind of feed that and to

fill some of that void and that can also

be where there is that belonging that

feels at risk because it may feel like

I'm not as loved or not as connected um

and I've totally blinked on what your

original question was so what is what is

intuitive eating oh yeah so as we work

through that um that story and that

piece of like where is it that they're

actually craving some of that belonging

or how are we using food to soothe then

they are more once that is kind of

worked through and there's more clarity

around that then they're more naturally

able to be more in tune with their

bodies and be able to eat more

intuitively based on what their bodies

need because when people come to me at

first they're like I've tried mindful

eating I've tried intuitive eating and

there's times where they're like yeah

screw it my body body does want cookies

or chocolate but when we're coming from

that place of like craving that security

that protection that safety it's easy to

override what our body actually needs

and often we've disassociated and used

food to disassociate that we're not able

to really get into in tune with what our

bodies want and need and so it kind of

clears up some of that noise around our

body and food as we work through the

process and figure out how we are

turning to food for that safety so

that's also kind of more of a result of

the work together is that then people

are able to be more intuitive so got it

yes it's Incorporated but also no at the

same time yeah yeah yeah I mean what I

hear you saying basically is that like

sometimes we can know a lot of things

about what we should eat we can know

what's nutritious for us but we still

maybe binge or use food in an unhealthy

way because we have some underlying

emotional needs that we are trying to

use food to meet and what you can do as

a coach is help people meet those

needs without food is that right yeah

yep and sometimes food may still be

something that you want

to use in certain times and it's being

able to be more in Choice around that

instead of feeling like the food is

controlling us it's how do we be how are

we able to more consciously choose when

we want to turn to food versus is when

it's not really serving us and is

creating more of the cycle of like

beating ourselves up and having that

shame and guilt and stuff like being

able to work through that so it doesn't

we are able

to yeah eat when eat some of like I

still will have donuts and cookies and

pizza and there are times where my

husband and I will share we'll have two

Donuts in the house it'll take us 4 days

to eat the two Donuts because we feel

satisfied from just a couple of bites of

it

versus in the past if I had two Donuts

in the house there's no way I would have

been able to to like stop it just one or

two bites it would be both duts would be

gone within 10 minutes um so it's

really and it's not like I'm not turning

to I'm not using the food for that

satiation and satisfaction like but I do

feel satisfied from it when I do eat it

now what would you say so I've heard

before that like shame is just not like

a very useful emo

right because um it doesn't actually

help us change or make better choices so

if we're not shaming ourselves about

quote unquote bad food choices what what

are we doing

instead that's a really great question

and shame is such an interesting thing

because it's something that I have

that's been in my conversation and world

for so long and for me I wasn't able to

even identify that I felt shame until

just three months ago um so and it's

been it's taken a lot of work but um

yeah it's really interesting with shame

when we're not shaming

ourselves first of all we need to even

see where the shame is coming up how

it's coming up and sometimes it takes

layers like I mean it took me nine years

to be able to feel the shame and to

experience it and see it because our

nervous system and our psyche and like

it's protected me in so many ways and it

also probably is protecting others in

some ways and so it can be it's not like

we just slip a switch and the shame is

gone um and when we're not living

steeped in that shame it can we can feel

more satisfied and fulfilled we can feel

more um present connected it just

depends on why the sh shame is showing

up and how and how that's protecting

somebody um and it can just open up so

much for people too I mean I think it's

really natural to feel shame when you do

something that's not in alignment with

your goals or values right like okay I I

I don't actually want to eat four donuts

for breakfast but I did then I think

shame follows really naturally y I mean

that's that's just it's not that's very

human I should say like very human say

you know I did something that's not in

line in line with my goals and values so

instead of shaming myself now what am I

going to do instead I'm gonna say

what the first thing is just to even

see the first step for me is to that I

work with people on is to see like

bringing Clarity and awareness to what

was what were you turning to the donuts

for because there isn't just one thing

to say or it's not like a a mindset

shift like yes there is mindset shift

that happens but first we need to

identify what are you turning to the the

donuts for because even having that

Clarity Clarity and awareness of like

what is your story and how is it trying

to protect you even that alone can shift

from some of the shame and I've had

clients say it feels like a weight has

been lifted even though they may not

have lost any weight and it's just more

of like that metaphor of feeling like

they've been carrying something that's

been weighing them down for so long and

they didn't know what it was and then

once they can see it it's like oh this

is what I'm doing this is why this is

happening and now it's something that I

can change because when we're subjected

to it and we're just carrying it with us

and we don't see it then it feels like

it's who I am in how life has to be and

that's when we can feel hopeless that

things can change but as we can bring

more clarity and awareness to it then

that's when we can start to shift it so

I'm sorry I don't have one thing that

people can say but that is that's how it

starts to shift and how we can start to

release some of that shame just even by

having that Clarity and insight into why

we're turning to food in the first place

and then the shame starts we can have

more compassion with ourselves yeah um

would you be willing to share a story of

either your life or from someone that

you've worked with and of course you

don't need to share their name or their

details someone who um who was able

through Health coaching to make a change

in their life that that felt very

meaningful would you be just willing to

share a little story

yeah which one do I want to

share

um there's two that come to

mind I'll start I'll share one so um

this woman came to me because she was

she said that like it's easy to lose 100

pounds like I've lost 100 pounds and

then I gain it right back but like the

weight loss itself is easy but why is it

not consistent and why do I not like why

is it not sustaining so we started

working together and quickly what we re

what she realized is that she is very

hyperproductive um so many of my clients

are type A perfectionists and stuff and

she was so hyperproductive that she

couldn't do anything just at 100% it had

to all be 150% so even creating an Excel

spreadsheet she couldn't just do a

simple Excel spreadsheet it had to be

like the biggest the best the most

intricate Excel

spreadsheet which is fine and that also

created a lot of stress and when you're

in this when she was was in this state

of being hyperproductive it was

exhausting so when coming home from work

she would plant herself on the couch

drink a bottle of wine and eat food and

as we started to talk about that hyper

productivity and how that was actually

trying to protect her she got a lot of

Praise as a kid for her intelligence for

being hardworking and everything so that

is where her story was is like that's

where she had value and worth was in and

that's how she felt valued and worthy

right because that's where she was

getting a lot of the

praise and so she said at one point

she's like I like being hyperproductive

sometimes though and I'm like right it's

not that we want to take that away from

your identity it's are there times where

you feel hyperproductive and are

energized versus times where you're

hyperproductive and it depletes you and

she's like absolutely and the difference

was when she was in Choice around it and

she was doing it because she wanted to

be hyperproductive versus when she was

doing it as a way to be seen as valued

and worthy and to get that acceptance

and to belong that's when it would

deplete her because it wasn't coming

from it wasn't aligned with her values

and what was really important to her so

as we worked through I mean this showed

up in so many different places of her

life too there would be times on the

weekends where she was like I just need

to reorg I need to reorganize a cabinet

in my kitchen and 8 hours later she had

reorganized her whole kitchen so this is

there was no Nuance or discernment of

what this hyper productivity like when

to use it and when not to as we worked

through the process she um the first

thing that kind of fell by the wayside

was her drinking so she actually was

able to come home and not just collapse

on the couch and drink a bottle of wine

she stopped drinking and it wasn't that

she was restricting herself she just

didn't need it anymore or want it and

then her eating also had shifted and as

we went through the process she also had

been at her job for about seven years

and as it got clearer to her what was

important to her and what she really

valued and what she wanted and needed

she realized that this job wasn't a like

the best fit for her and she got

contacted to become the like president

or CEO of another

organization and she ended up taking

that role and she said that it was from

the work that we had done because if we

hadn't worked through her story she

wouldn't have had that confidence and

been able to take that risk and take on

this of a role um and so she was able to

make that change and then unfortunately

she was also diagnosed with breast

cancer at the time like shortly after

our work together and even through her

cancer diagnosis and treatment she said

that the work we had done had really

helped her bring some of the tools

because she would make jokes about even

in treatment she was like I'm going to

be the best patient and the best student

and I'm going to show my oncologist that

I'm going to beat this better than

anybody else so like even her story was

coming up around that and being able to

see that that's what she was doing and

realizing and like bringing some Nuance

to that and discernment of like do I

need to be the best student no like the

best cancer patient no so it had a lot

of effect um or a lot of impact

throughout many very various aspects of

her life beyond just the food and

drinking um yeah and there's more to

that but that was quite a bit thank

thank you so much for sharing that story

that's so powerful to see how this like

story was impacting her in so many

different ways the food and drink was

like maybe the top of the pyramid for

her but then like when she peeled away

the layers it was affecting her in so

many other ways as well yeah which is

it's true for like pretty much all my

clients too in the work that we do so

when people ask me what kind of results

can they expect I'm like I don't know it

depends because it depends on why we're

turning to food in the first place

because again food is just the symptom

um and so food or alcohol or even over

shopping it can be um anything over

working out or not working out like it

can show up in so many different areas

um but yeah it usually is there's

something else and so it can impact

relationships career um taking risks in

life just how we feel in our bodies in

life in

general well Laura it's been really

great to chat with you and hear about

the work you do and how you're helping

so many women to wrap up i' just like to

ask you a question which is who is a

woman that has impacted your life

significantly I already gave a preview

to it but my health coach Ally she um

has definitely impacted my life in so

many ways uh when I was introduced to

her

for as a me like just as a connection

for as a health coach going through the

process myself was super impactful and

then we been connected now for 10 years

or so and she's been a huge mentor to me

and um the process that she developed

that then um and also then trained me in

and mentored me through has been super

impactful not only for myself and my

relationship with food but

also going from advertising to doing

this work this work is so fulfilling and

satisfying for me and I never knew how

fulfilling could be um and so I owe a

lot of all of that to her and um I'm so

grateful to have met her and have had

her as a part of my life so grateful for

empowered women who help Empower other

women thank you Ally That's Just I um

along almost every woman's Journey

there's another woman who's helped them

along the way so and she's just one of

many of course but of course well Laura

thank you so much for coming and joining

us today we will leave your information

information below for people who are

interested in chatting with you who are

interested in working through their

relationship with food digging through

their story and finding out why they are

maybe doing behaviors that aren't in

line with their values and their goals

so thank you so much for sh sharing and

for joining us and if you are listening

to us and you are a woman in the area

who's made a difference I would love to

interview you as well I'll leave the

link for that as well I'm Liz I run the

Chicago budoir Photography Studio where

I take photos to help Empower women and

help them see and reveal their own

confidence thanks for being in this

group and thanks again for joining us

today Laura thank you so much for having

me