Ask a Boudoir Photographer: "What if I feel like I'm not worth photographing?"
Ask a Boudoir Photographer: "What if I feel like I'm not worth photographing?"
Question:
“Hi Chicago Boudoir, I have a question. I’ve been thinking about doing a boudoir photoshoot for a while, but I keep talking myself out of it. I’m intrigued by the idea of boudoir, but part of me feels like a photographer probably wouldn’t even want to photograph someone like me. I’m not very confident and I don’t really see myself as someone who belongs in boudoir photos. Sometimes I even think maybe I’m just not worth the effort. I’ve struggled with low self-esteem ever since my ex broke up with me. How can I feel ready for a photoshoot?”
Answer from Chicago Boudoir:
Oh, girl. If you've ever wondered whether you're “the kind of woman” who belongs in boudoir photos, I want you to know something right away - you don't have to look like a model, feel confident or have everything figured out before you walk through my studio doors.
I hear versions of this all the time.
I'm not photogenic. I'm not confident enough. I'm not sexy. Why would anyone want to photograph me?
And sometimes the thought goes even deeper: Am I even worth doing something like this for?
If you've ever had that thought, I want you to know you're not alone.
The women who come into my studio aren't a bunch of professional models who wake up every morning feeling fabulous. They're real women with real lives, real bodies and real insecurities. And many of them are much more nervous about being photographed than they let on.
You don't have to arrive at your session already feeling confident. You just have to be willing to give yourself the chance to experience it.
You Don’t Have to Be Confident First
One of the biggest myths about boudoir photography is that you need to show up already feeling confident. Well… let me tell you, that’s not true AND… you don’t. Confidence is not a requirement for the session. In many cases, confidence is something that grows during the experience itself.
At the beginning of the shoot, it is very normal to feel nervous or unsure. I'll guide you through the posing, help you with your outfits and tell you exactly what to do throughout the session. You don't have to figure any of that out on your own. You’ll start to relax and you’ll feel your confidence building along the way!
You don't have to feel confident enough to start. Sometimes you just have to be brave enough to start.
Boudoir Is for Everyday Women
The women you see in boudoir photos are not professional models. They're teachers, moms, business owners, nurses, attorneys, students, retirees, wives, single women and women in all kinds of different seasons of life.
And here's something I think is important: you don't have to look a certain way to belong in boudoir.
You don't have to have a certain body type. You don't have to be a certain age. You don't have to already know how to be sexy in front of a camera.
Yes, I Actually WANT You in Front of My Camera
I want to talk about this one from my perspective as your photographer. I don't sit in my studio looking at a woman and thinking, “Is she photogenic enough for me to photograph?” That's not how this works.
When you come into my studio, my job is to figure out how to photograph you in the most beautiful way possible. I look at your features, your personality, your movement, the way you carry yourself and the things that make you uniquely you.
And honestly? One of my favorite parts of this job is watching the transformation that happens during a session—not a physical transformation, but the moment when a woman starts to relax and realize she can actually do this. I love seeing the woman who walked in nervous become the woman who is laughing, having fun and absolutely owning her photos by the end.
So if you're worried that I'm going to look at you and think, “She's not the type I photograph,” please get that thought right out of your head. You are not a burden or an inconvenience. You are exactly the kind of person boudoir photography was created for!
Your Worth Isn't Determined by How You Feel About Yourself Today
Sometimes we can get so used to criticizing ourselves that we start believing those thoughts are facts.
Your worth isn't determined by whether you like every photo of yourself. It isn't determined by your body, your age, your relationship status or how confident you feel when you look in the mirror. And you don't have to prove that you're worthy of being photographed.
You don't have to accomplish something first. You don't have to change something about your body first. You don't have to become a different version of yourself first. You are allowed to want beautiful photographs of yourself simply because you want them.
And if being in front of the camera feels scary, that's okay! We can take it one step at a time, together!
Sometimes the First Step Is the Hardest
It is very normal to hesitate before booking something that pushes you outside of your comfort zone.
But many women who finally decide to go for it later say that the hardest part was simply believing they deserved the experience.
Once they allowed themselves to try it, they discovered something they did not expect. They discovered confidence, pride, and a new appreciation for themselves.
You also don't have to book a session the first time you contact me. You don't have to know exactly what you want. You don't even have to be sure that boudoir is right for you. That's why I offer complimentary phone consultations.
You can tell me what you're nervous about. You can ask me what happens during a session. You can tell me you're worried you're not photogenic or that you're really uncomfortable in front of a camera. There is no judgment and no pressure.
Sometimes having an actual conversation with someone who does this every day is enough to make the idea feel a whole lot less intimidating.
Curious What You Might See in Yourself?
If you've been thinking about boudoir but keep wondering whether you're confident enough, photogenic enough or “the type” of woman who belongs in these kinds of photos, let's talk.
You don't have to have it all figured out before you reach out. During your complimentary phone consultation, we can talk about your questions, your concerns and what the experience is actually like when you come into the studio.
And if you're still not sure afterward? That's okay, too.
Call or text me at 312-425-2946 to schedule your complimentary consultation.
Janet’s Story: “I Didn’t Think I Was the Kind of Woman Who Did Boudoir”
For a long time, I didn't think boudoir was something a woman like me would ever do. I loved looking at boudoir photos, but I never imagined myself being the woman in front of the camera. After my relationship ended, my confidence had taken a pretty big hit, and I found myself questioning the way I looked more than I ever had before.
I remember wondering, “Why would a photographer even want to photograph me? I'm not a model, and I don't really feel beautiful right now.”
But I couldn't quite let go of the idea, so I finally reached out to Liz at Chicago Boudoir.
I was nervous at first, but Liz immediately put me at ease. She explained that I didn't need to know how to pose or feel confident before coming in because she would guide me through the entire experience. Once I was getting my hair and makeup done and we started shooting, I slowly relaxed and actually started having fun.
When I saw my photos, I was speechless! Instead of immediately noticing all the things I normally criticized about myself, I saw a woman who looked confident, beautiful and comfortable in her own skin.
The photos didn't magically make every insecurity disappear, but they reminded me that those insecurities don't define me. I didn't have to become a different person before I was worthy of being photographed. I was already worth photographing exactly as I was.
I'm really glad I didn't wait until I felt completely confident to do it. If I had, I probably would still be waiting!
Ask a Boudoir Photographer Series
This article is part of our Ask a Boudoir Photographer series. Many women have questions, concerns and hesitations before booking something as personal a boudoir photoshoot, and that’s completely normal. In this series we answer questions that real Chicago women ask us all the time about boudoir photography. If you’d like to read more in this series, you can explore other questions and answers here. And if you have a question of your own, please text us at 312-425-2946 or email it to hello@chicago-boudoir.com.