My body love journey - Chicago Boudoir Photography

I’m wearing a sweatshirt in this photo that says “SELF LOVE!” Because I really, truly believe that it is so important to love yourself and to love your body.

But I haven’t always been able to love myself or love my body.

Like many women, I grew up from a very young age believing that my body was not quite right. I felt I was too tall, my skin was too pale, my hips were too wide, my boobs were too small. Some parts of me were too big and jiggly and other parts were too flat and bony. I wanted to love my body, but didn't know how to. There were just too many things wrong with it.

I can remember being a very young girl taking ballet classes and looking at myself in the mirror and thinking, "I'm too fat to be here." I really loved dancing, but I also remember feeling a lot of body shame looking in those big mirrors. 

As a young girl and a teen, I didn't talk to anyone about my body. It felt too shameful to even bring up the topic. My family didn’t talk about "taboo" topics like body confidence or sexuality.

When I was 19, my mom took me to a plastic surgeon to get a consultation about a nose job. She told me that she’d “always felt bad that she had a daughter with such a wide nose.” I had never thought about my nose being too big. I had never complained to her about not liking my nose. But she thought it was. So off to the plastic surgeon’s office we went. The surgeon took some photos of me and then mocked up images of what I would look like after a rhinoplasty. I felt really odd looking at the photos. Sure, the nose was smaller and thinner, but my face didn’t look like ME anymore. It was unsettling for me to even look at the mock-ups he had created. The surgeon also told me I’d have to wear nose tampons up my nostrils for a week after the surgery. I couldn’t imagine doing that, so I told the surgeon “no thanks.” As we walked out of the office, I could tell that my mom was disappointed in me for not wanting to “improve” my face. I didn’t have any insecurities about my nose before that appointment, but I sure have in the years since!

Over the years, I’ve found some techniques to overcome some of my body insecurities. One way has been through boudoir!

The very first time I signed up for a boudoir photoshoot, I was so nervous that I was literally shaking in my boots! I felt so unsure or myself and so vulnerable to be photographed in my underwear. But as the shoot got going, my nerves calmed down and I started to have so much fun! Now I have fallen in love with boudoir shoots. I'm literally a boudoir addict. I have signed up for more than ten boudoir photoshoots just for me and I don't see myself stopping anytime soon!

I feel 1000% more confident in my body than I ever have before! I learned that sexy is an attitude, not a size! I feel more alive in my own skin and ready to take on new challenges! Boudoir has quite literally been life-changing for me.

I used to think "I have to work out because I need to lose weight." Now I think, "It feels so good to move my body! I'm so glad that I can work out!"

Boudoir makes me feel alive! I love how boudoir is freeing and breaks all kinds of taboos about women's bodies and what they are allowed to do.

Loving other people starts with loving yourself. I know that loving myself and my body helps me to show up as a better, kinder person in the world.
I found a lot of strength in discussing my journey with others. I am now super open talking about everything!

What has your body love journey been like?