Why You Don’t Like Your Own Photos (and How to Change That!)
Let’s Break Down What’s Really Happening When You Don’t Like How You Look in Photos—and How to See Yourself in a New Light
Let's be real—most of us have had moments where we see a picture of ourselves and think, “Oh no, is that really me?” It’s completely natural, but there are reasons behind why we feel that way. Here’s a breakdown of what’s actually happening in those moments, and more importantly, what we can do about it.
1. We’re Our Own Worst Critics
When I look at myself in photos, I tend to hone in on what I perceive as “flaws.” I fixate on the little things others probably don’t notice, whether it’s a strand of hair out of place, that slight smile line, or the way I’m standing. My brain can go into critique mode before I even give the photo a chance!
But here’s the thing—people who see us every day don’t even think about those things. They see the full picture, not the tiny details WE fixate on. One way to tackle this is by trying to look at yourself in photos with the same kindness you’d give someone else.
2. The Science of Familiarity
You know how we all have a “good side”? That’s partly because we’re used to seeing ourselves in a mirror. The mirror image of ourselves is actually our “familiar” side, and when we see photos, they’re flipped. So when we see a photo, it feels off because we’re looking at a reversed version of ourselves. This is called the mere-exposure effect, where we’re more likely to appreciate things we see repeatedly. Over time, the more we see ourselves in photos, the more familiar they’ll become, and they’ll stop feeling “wrong.”
3. Lighting and Angles Matter
Good lighting and angles can make or break a photo. Selfies taken from below, harsh lighting, or even the wrong time of day can impact how we look. Professional photos use lighting techniques that are designed to enhance, flatter, and bring out our best features. It’s why a professional photo session can be so eye-opening! But even on a regular day, you can improve your shots with a few simple tweaks: find natural light (like standing by a window) and angle the camera slightly above eye level to capture your face more naturally. (See my tips on creating better selfies HERE!)
4. Learning to Appreciate Your Unique Look
Everyday society bombards with images that have been retouched or carefully curated, and it’s easy to compare ourselves to unrealistic standards. But every one of us has features that make us uniquely beautiful. Start focusing on the things you love about yourself in photos, even if it’s just one thing at a time. Maybe it’s your smile, the sparkle in your eyes, or even the confidence that shines through.
5. Be Gentle with Yourself
It takes time to rewire how we think about our own photos, especially if we’ve been critical of ourselves for a while. But I promise, it’s worth it. Try looking at your photos as moments captured rather than objects to critique. And remember, every photo is just a small slice of who you are—it doesn’t define your worth.
Next time you find yourself in front of the camera, take a deep breath, embrace those quirks, and maybe even smile a little bigger! You’ll be surprised at how much your self-image can shift with a little patience, good lighting, and a dose of self-compassion.
