Celebrating Mother's Day When You Dread It
It’s the most wonderful time of the year, right? Wrong. For many women, Mother’s Day is not a joyous occasion. Perhaps the day has never lived up to your expectations. Maybe you have a bad (or no) relationship with your mother. You may be mourning the loss of your mother or child. You’re in a power struggle with in-laws or you are a single mom with little or no family support in sight.
Whatever your reason, Mother's Day doesn’t have to be a day to despair. There are many things you can keep in mind while you get through Mother's Day with a smile on your face and your dignity intact.
First, remember that motherhood means different things to different people. You may be a mother and not feel that maternal pull to celebrate. You could be adopted or have given birth through surrogacy, or you might not identify as "mom."
Second, research shows that the best thing we can do for our mental health is to nurture ourselves with self-compassion. When we are kind to ourselves about the choices we've made in life, we can move forward with an improved outlook..
Third, find things you love about your mom. You might be willing to celebrate her for something as simple as making a good cup of coffee or cooking the most delicious meatloaf ever (or even not). Remember all the ways she's supported and encouraged you in life. If you don't have that relationship with your mother, it's ok. Nobody has perfect relationships of any kind.
Fourth, begin to brainstorm ways you can show your mom gratitude and love today. You might want to give her a call or send an email telling her how much she means to you, or bake something with her for the occasion even if it's not Mother's Day (compromise is key!)
You needn't feel guilty for being unenthused about the holiday if one or more aspects listed above resonate with you. No matter what kind of situation you find yourself in this upcoming Mother's Day weekend, I hope these words will help bring some comfort to you!
